i click on the red callout box
coming from the blue world
on the blue banner
i forget
is zuckerberg’s.

i select the notification
and wait
for the page to load.

i scroll and
see your name
and yours
and even yours
with a message
for me
to be happy
on my birthday.

i smile
and i click
and i smile

should i thank

you kept me
clicking all
day, smiling
all day,
but now
it’s tomorrow.

there is no red
on the blue banner.
but i know
i can click on my name
next to home
next to the blue world.

i scroll down screens
upon screens.
my smiles remember
the one day
in may
what the clicks
really mean.


My name is May. This is my month.

Of course I’ll share it with you. I mean, 31 days is more than plenty to go around.

What are you going to do with my month? It’s the best time of year with spring in full swing. Are you going to go on hikes? Go camping? Start exercising again?

Are you going to try to write more poetry? Start submitting your work to various publications?

What are you going to do with your garden? How do you plan to landscape your yard? Is mowing the lawn something you look forward to, more than raking leaves in the fall?

Will you get a puppy? I know people who really want puppies.

Will you be going on more dates? Will you try kissing more? Maybe you should work on your moves because then at least you’re working on something.

Go dancing. Fly kites. Sing scales. Don’t forget to include arpeggios.

Also, don’t forget Mother’s Day. Seriously.

We just renewed the lease on our apartment. We’ve been sporadically working on making our home cozy, a nice nook for us and books to live. Now that we’ll be here for another year we’re starting to feel more settled. We rearranged our bedroom so that it feels bigger. We put up a shelf for more of our books to live. We’ve hung some photographs and posters, and I’m considering curtains, but that seems too big of a commitment right now.  I know that sounds weird, but the idea of curtains excites and scares me at the same time.

We moved the bookshelf from our bedroom into the living area. We also bought another bookshelf for the living room. We rearranged a lot of the living space for the books, and now many hardcovers reside on the shelves in the living room. This opened up space in the library for us to get books out of storage so that they wouldn’t feel left out. I’m grateful they have a place now, but I can’t even imagine how the books feel.

As I write I realize that I could go on about how Reilly organized the paperbacks according to publisher but we have a lot of books from independent publishers, and I’d also like to organize his Spanish novels and my French ones, but then I wonder if I actually have a point to this post.

I mean, I guess I could liken books to people and this post could be about creating space for all types of people. Taking books out of the closet, that sort of thing. That would come across as pretty heavy-handed,  but I really can’t explain how much better I feel now that all our books are on the shelves.

We did all that in April.

Maybe my point is that I can’t wait to see what May brings.

Pun absolutely intended.

A Couple of Summer Photos

Courtesy of Deena's Camera

This is my birthday party my roommates threw for me. They’re sitting beside me, right up front. Maybe you can tell I’d been practicing this pose all day. Maybe I had also been working on my tan?

Courtesy of Chuck's iPhone
Courtesy of Chuck's iPhone

Becky was so nice to squat so it looks like we’re the same height. Graduations are almost like weddings to me. Festive, celebratory, symbolic – relatable to the gospel. My little heart inside of my 4’10” body was about to burst with pride. I’m sure one of the Master of Science grads would have been able to administer CPR. And maybe he would have been cute.

See what I mean with the friends? Leaving this place is going to be so bleepin’ hard.

May Is Such A Good Month

This is what I did today, and I wouldn’t have done anything else if I had the chance:


I watched my friend, Becky, graduate with her MBA from Baruch College! 

Here’s her name in the program:


Her name is actually printed on the right of the centerfold. She actually requested that, because she has a “reputation” to uphold, if you know what I mean.

Becky, I’m so proud of you, and I’m extremely grateful we’re friends. You deserve the very best in life.



More awesomeness at flickr.


Well, since blogs are inherently self-indulgent, I need to talk about my birthday some more.

I’ve celebrated seven birthdays here in NYC. Seven. In Biblical terms, that number symbolizes perfection. Completeness.

2003 – I hadn’t started my blog yet. (And when I did start it, I would only call it an “online journal” for years.) I went with my friend Janine and her roommate, Alicia to a one-man show. They actually let me tag along because I was still very new to the city and hadn’t made a lot of friends and the plans were very last-minute.

2004 – Oh, how funny. This is the year I sent CoffeeMate Creamer to a co-worker via interoffice mail, for fun, and it leaked everywhere and I got in pretty big trouble, because it kinda sorta turned into an anthrax scare. I mean, I was freaking out at the time, but now it’s pretty amusing. Stupid thing to do: New York City; white, liquidy, vanilla-scented substance, unsealed, all over the mail. C’est la vie, people.

2005 – That was the year we watched Episode III and I came up with that joke, and I threw a Napoleon Dynammite party. That was a cool party, people. Remember the invitation? Bingo, prizes, cake. Good crowd. Thank goodness the party was close to where we held Stake Conference that evening. Party on a Saturday. Nice.

2006 – Man, that was my 30th. What a great year! I had a XXX birthday party. That’s the Roman numeral for 30, you pervs. We had pulled barbecue pork sandwiches, lemon-mint lemonade, several types of desserts, and quite a few people showed up to my studio apartment on Bennett Avenue. There were worksheets with a matching game as well as a crossword puzzle about me. I’ll have to scan that in one of these days. That was also the year I came out pretty openly about my love for spelling bees.

2007 – 31. Prime number. This birthday was pretty laid back. I mean, how else can you follow your 30th? It was definitely time to start mellowing out. That was the summer I started cycling more and would put 30-40 miles on my bike every weekend.

2008 – So, I didn’t throw a party this year, either, but this was the year Becky and I roadtripped to Charlotte, NC and this was the year I had a month’s worth of dates and this was the year I got my driver’s license and started the process for naturalization. 32 was a good year. 2 to the 5th power.

2009 – My 7th birthday here in the city. It’s been wonderful. I’m trying not to talk about things that would dampen the spirit of my birthday, but it really does feel like my experience here in New York City has come full circle.

I’ve made friends who feel like family. I’ve made family into some of my very best friends. It’s time to focus. It’s time to let ourselves feel every emotion that goes along with this process. It’s time to be present in every single moment. This is New York City, after all. I’ve been awake for every single second of it. You know what I mean.


For some reason, I feel I don’t have any time to write. I’m already two days into my 34th year, and I feel a little bit of anxiety.

On my birthday, I went for a run. 30 minutes, hills, then I came home and stretched and did squats and lunges.

On my birthday, my friend Becky took me to dinner. She had a cold, yet she still walked around Greenwich Village. We ate at a cute little place called The New French, then tried to find a dessert place that seemed to move from the location I remembered six years ago, but ended up at Rocco’s. Sarah, I know you remember Rocco’s. On Bleecker.

Before we stepped into dessert, Becky requested an acappella quartet singing on the street to serenade me with a sweet rendition of “Happy Birthday.” The quartet’s name was Spank. Um, I would hyperlink that band name, but I’m afraid to Google it. But I will say the group sounded fantastic and Becky was very quick on her feet to get them to sing to me.

I had a chocolate cream pie as my birthday cake. If I do say so myself, 33 looks pretty good on me so far:

Then we hung out at Becky’s place and listened to music while she cleaned her apartment and then we fell asleep while a DVD was playing.

The day was gorgeous, and I was so grateful to spend it with one of my best friends in the whole wide world.

I think my next post is going to have to be about cookies. I may have to come up with a new favorite food, people.

Birthday Gifts

My mom sent me something, even though I really hadn’t expected her to. It was a nice surprise. She told me not to be disappointed if I didn’t get anything because she was trying to help out my brother, which I fully support.

I consider the following video to be a gift from my friend, Lisa. I’ve been listening to this song constantly. It’s important to listen to this song full blast. The driving beat, the grittiness in her voice at the end of certain phrases. It’s a lot of fun, and I thank Lisa for sharing this video.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Yeah Yeah Yeahs “Zero”“, posted with vodpod

I received an email from my junior high school band director. I don’t think he knows it’s my birthday. The day I finished the one piece about the clarinet solo in 9th grade, I sent him the link to the post. And then Monday night I wrote him again, telling him about Mechanical VIOLET. He wrote back, and I read the message today, and it was wonderful, and I could hear Mr. Coleman’s voice as his words jumped from the computer screen to my eyes.

Thanks again, everyone.

MAYbe MAY’s BirthMAY Will Have MultiMAYrious Posts

I feel so immensely blessed, you guys. I love my seminary class so much.

In seminary, for people’s birthday’s, the students write something nice about the objects of celebration, and they write what they’d get them if they had a million dollars.

The students did that for me this morning. And I’m posting their thoughts here. No names, of course.

May – You are the best seminary co-teacher I’ve ever had! Ha Ha. No really – you inspire me with your insight and understanding of the gospel. Your testimony strengthens me, and your ability to be on time to seminary even you’re late astounds me. Also – Thanks for all the hours of free therapy, temple discussions, photo shoot park walks (I hope there will be more) and breakfast – not to mention all the wonderful lessons we’ve taught together.

– Okay, so this one’s pretty obvious who it is. My seminary co-teacher and I have gotten to be pretty good friends. We spent the afternoon in Central Park yesterday talking and taking photographs. This photo shows what else she got me for my birthday:

Not too shabby, eh?

May (drawn music notes, “We are naturalized American idiots”), I was thinking. You’re pretty cool, you blog, you are in an indie band and are super tight with the younger “generation.” Hanging out with them, going to shows, putting up with their nonsense, etc.

For a million dollars I’d get you:
-Enough time to bike across the country and live on the beach writing, playing clarinet during a sunset, and going to Starbucks to chat on facebook with me, to share witticisms, indie artists and stick figure comics. I’ll miss you when you’re in San Francisco. Race you to the bestseller list!

-Then this student proceeded to draw a few stick figure comics with inside jokes. Seriously, these cartoons are funny. This student for some reason wants me to move to San Francisco. This student just knows I should take on a new adventure. This student is typically right.

May! La la la la! Today is your birthday day, so I”m going to try to listen to your lesson. 🙂 Which might be a bad idea, considering how long it takes me to write these things. 🙂 So for your birthday present, I will give you that super hot guy, only he will be a member of the church – a super strong & steadfast member – who wouldn’t run away from you, EVER! And he would marry you, & make out w/you … May, you are awesome! Thank you for your fabulous lessons full of sound effects and scenarios and pogo sticks & wacky things. I adore you! 🙂 ❤ U!

-This student said the closing prayer in class today and made me cry. This student prayed for me and my current situation, that I’d find peace and choose the right path for me. These kids are always going beyond what they’re asked to do.

May May May … You’re birthday is today! La di da di da … it’s in the month of May! Wow okay that was a really sad attempt to rhyme this early. But i think you get the idea that it’s the thought that counts. Anyway HAPPY Birthday! You’re super duper lucky because today is going to be ABSOLUTELY gorgeous & sunny! What a perfect time to celebrate you! If I had a million dollars I would give you an immense amount of concert tickets. To any band or artist you want … EVER! And hopefully one of these days I will be able to go to a concert with you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ❤ ya.

-This student’s life completely blows me away. This student is moving at the end of the summer, and it’s going to be sad. I might be moving at the end of the summer. It’s going to be sad.

When May was born, the world rejoiced. Flowers bloomed on all the trees and in the fields. Choirs of clarinets and ukuleles serenaded her with adaptations of classic rock songs. Rabbits bounded through the fields – each perched atop a pogo stick. Mirrors gathered from far and wide to have the honor of installing themselves in her room. Seminary students gathered from around the world to hear jewels of wisdom dispensed from her mouth. May – all your days be merry and bright and all your birthdays be white. Happy Birthday!

-This student is extremely grounded and intelligent and sincere and comprehends the gospel so … comprehensively. This student wrote the note similarly to the way I write birthday notes to my students. It was thoroughly flattering.

Happy birf dae Mae. Ay hoep yu kan haav ay fineanchalee secure yeer. Yu arr ay gurate seminairy teechr. Eeff aye haad a melyon dolers aye wood bye yu a sleip masheen su yu cood maed up lost sleip and bee a sinanairy teechr agan en 2010. Hav a gud yer and bee haapy.

-This student is smart and diligent and funny and clever, and this student is going to be an incredible leader and maybe rule the world alongside the student who thinks I should move to San Francisco. I can’t wait.

Dear May, Happy Birthday! The thought of starting seminary this year was a bit overwhelming for me, but thankfully I happened to get a teacher like you, and I know it was for a reason. You have taught me a lot this year with your lessons and especially with your devotionals. You are so sweet, I am lucky to have you as my seminary teacher. P.S. That hot runner in the park totally wanted you, he just didn’t want to make [co-teacher] feel bad. Love, [Student]

-This note was actually the first one read, and it made me cry. Except the part about the hot runner, and that made me laugh. Good times.

My class has no idea just how much I’ll miss seeing them this summer. My love, admiration, and respect for them is boundless.

After class, I headed over to the east-central part of Central Park, behind the Naumburg Bandshell to listen to Green Day perform. How nice of them to sing for my birthday. For free! Thanks, guys!

Then I got home and checked voicemails and text messages and facebook notifications. Thanks, everyone, for singing and texting and writing on my wall.  You’re the very best family and friends anyone could have, and it’s such a blessing having you in my life. You mean everything to me.

I guess now it’s time to make a wish …

Just Before Bed

So, Friday is my actual birthday. One of my roommates will be out of town, so she decided to throw me an early party in conjunction with the American Idol finale.

Great crowd, wonderful friends, lots of laughs and fun you can’t buy anywhere. Ice cream and cookie sandwiches and brownies and total shock about the winner. I mean, I really like Kris. And I totally adore Adam. I thought they were both stellar guys, and I’m pretty sure their careers will take off.

In fact, I’m sure they won’t have to worry about much. They’ll be successful and just fine. Because they know my birthday is coming up. In two days. The 22nd. 33 on 22. Could be fun. Should be. Will be. Always is.

You always make it better though. You need to be there.

My roommate just told me that May 20 is Eliza Doolittle Day. She sang the bit for me and everything. Because that proves it’s true.

Man, I love my month SO much.