Part of a Conversation on Martin Scorsese’s The Departed — SPOILER ALERT

The movie won four Academy Awards. It’s dark, but it’s funny in the right places. It’s vulgar, violent and bitter. It’s not for viewers who like blatantly happy endings. Or even subtly happy endings. If you like rats, though, this is for you.

The following is an online chat about the movie. It has been edited for clarity. Skip the rest of this post to avoid spoilers.

person 1: you watch de-potted?
person 2: yiss
person 1: whatchoo fink?
person 2: he shooted him!
  they all shooted!
person 1: he shooted weo in da heed!
  did mawk wahboag and awick bodween meek you waff?
person 2: yiss
person 1: they funny–but they say the f wodes and the c wodes a lot
person 2: wots of bad wodes!
I don’t know why these people chat in baby talk. They seem pretty darn cute, though. And insufferably awesome.

Let’s Start Circulating Rumors and True Stuff

 

Don’t we look amazing together?

For the 5 regular followers of this blog, you know it’s March Madness, and maybe you know basketball is one of my favorite sports. You probably also know I attend a university that seems to be doing well in the NCAA tournament so far, and I like when people do well. And I support the fans who support our excellent teams.

We have really creative fans. Maybe too many. Which is why I need your help.

If you’re on facebook, you should take this poll and vote for your favorite fan sign: http://poll.fm/f/2t8pd and/or here http://poll.fm/f/2t9wa

If you’re not on facebook, you should take this poll and vote for your favorite fan sign: http://byufansigns.questionpro.com/

Fun stuff, eh? The polls will be open until Friday. Don’t delay.

Questionnaire

I don’t have a lot of time to think about awesome answers for this questionnaire that’s due for work on Monday. Because you’re awesome, I’m thinking maybe you could help me with awesome answers. Some of the questions you won’t know/can’t fudge/make fun of the answers, but I know you’ll do your best. Thanks, guys. Have fun.

What other departments/programs/clubs/groups have you been part of while here at Brigham Young University? BYU French Club

Please list some of your hobbies, interests, and skills. live music, movies, clucking like a chicken, playing the clarinet
What is one of your favorite books you’ve read this year? The Road, Cormac McCarthy

Please tell us a little about what you were like as a child or share an interesting story from your childhood.

Please briefly describe one of your greatest achievements in 2010 or one of your best memories from 2010.

Please tell us something very few (if any) people in the department know about you (please feel free to share an embarrassing story).

If you could have a room full of one thing, what would it be?

How long have you worked at [our department]? since Fall 2010

What is something you’ve learned while working at [our department]? the ping-pong schedule

What is the best advice you’ve ever given or received?

Bonus Question: If you have a funny quote from someone at [our department] or a good story of something that’s happened to one of our fellow co-workers, please feel free to share it!

One-Up

So you know, there are these people who, no matter what, have to say something that one-ups everything someone else says. Your dad’s a lawyer? Well, my dad’s a lawyer AND  a rocket scientist who won the Nobel Prize three times and donated the prize money to relief efforts of the past two natural disasters. AND he’s hot.

This past week, I let a friend know I was playing this game with her. I can’t even remember what she said first. Maybe it had something to do with her running, because she’s training for a marathon. And she’s doing a wonderful job, progressing quite nicely. Well, I don’t even know how my brain went there, but I scrambled, because I had to one-up her somehow, and I’m not doing anything really athletic right now but hey, it was random enough, and it might be enough for the win, so I declared:

I’m amazing. I look great naked.

Boo-yah.

Polls

Well, some questions have crept up among friends in the time I’ve lived here. It’s kind of pointless posting polls, considering my readership is almost solely friends that I know here in the city. The same four friends. But maybe you’ll pass the questions along, because I’m trying to gather enough data for … something.

You’ll be able to tell right off how important these questions are. Just trying to see exactly how strong your opinions are. If you want, justify your votes in the comments.

Have you ever had the Oreo cookie conversation with me? How do you feel about the cream (creme) in the middle? What do you prefer, the perfect proportions of the regular, or peeling a layer of wax and/or lard from your tongue from the Double Stuf? Also, how do you dunk your cookies? Discuss.

 

Total Eclipse of the Heart: Literal Video Version

Good morning, folks.

That’s the first thing she writes, the first thing she does when she wakes up, as soon as the computer restarts. She needs to read, she needs to finish (re)applying to colleges; she needs to shower. She smells her hair: it’s fine.

It’s about to rain. She can hear the hesitation in the passing cars outside her window.

I really have no idea what I’m going to write today. Quite a bit is on my mind right now. I hope you understand.

She knows exactly what she’s going to write, at least she has a very strong idea. But she’ll be darned if she just lays it all out for all the public to see in crappy, makeshift fashion. At least this time.

You see, this “thing” happened, and I NEED to write about it, but this is going to take some time.

She jotted down some notes last night and a rough outline. That one sentence is probably the only true sentence in this entire post. She pats her tummy and thinks about how she’s going swimming on Saturday and her body is totally not ready for a swimsuit. Okay, fine. Two sentences.

So, to bide my time, I present to you this video. I actually got this from Kate the Great’s blog (see sidebar). Maybe you’re already part of the nearly 1.7 million views; still, nothing’s wrong with sharing, especially since this is the first time I’ve seen the video. What are blogs for, after all?

She’s plugged into her iPod, wires dangling from her ears. Barenaked Ladies is singing to her about Brian Wilson. Now The Be Good Tanyas. Shaker, banjo, guitar. Bluegrassy swing. She can’t justify cranking out an insta-dreck  of a story when such great music fills her noggin. She’s getting inspired.

Right now I’m listening to The Best Playlist Ever, and I’m getting inspired. Relient K’s “Be My Escape” is playing. Somehow the accent piano chords stick out through the electric guitar during the chorus and that’s almost all I hear. Sometimes the lyrics “gotta get out of here” and “be my escape” actually reach my ears.

Apparently, she’s also getting distracted. Also, the songs change pretty quickly because this entire post is pretty much in real time. See, now Cake’s “Mexico” is on.

Well, fine. So maybe I do know what I’m going to write. I mean, it’s about this “thing” that happened to me, and the story pretty much tells itself. Those of you who have already heard it as part of my oral history know it can stand on its own. But if it gets passed on to posterity only orally, it’s gonna end up a seriously jacked-up story. You know, I might turn into a dragon and breathe fire and singe the remaining hair on some guy who only wanted to propose as we stood on the Hudson River and watched the sky flicker and wretch from the apocalypse. You know? That telephone game teaches some very valuable lessons about personal interpretation. Anyway, my experience also deserves some serious writing. Actual documentation. And by “serious” I mean flipping hilarious. And by “actual” I mean this ain’t no fiction. What the crap, people.

So maybe this is where the video comes in.

So maybe this is where the video comes in. I mean, everyone knows the song, but this “version” of the song really highlights the video, and it really keeps you on your toes. Enjoy it. You may end up singing along. It’s actually not relevant to my story, but hey, this is a diversion. 

Anyway, thanks for your patience. Please forgive my stalling tactics. I just hope in writing I don’t leave out any important details from this truly watershed moment of my life, but I really feel execution is critical. By “execution” and “critical” I mean forms of dying.

Ooh, neat, “Our House” by Madness.

Madness, indeed.

ETA: The video isn’t cooperating. Here’s the link to YouTube.

 

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