Very Restless

So maybe I woke up at 5:30 this morning and am now just a little bit slightly teensily hopped up on stimulants like caffeine and sugar and taurine and carnine or whatever they’re called and my French final is in about five hours and my iPod is pumping classical music into my ears and I’ve looked at the same practice exam a million times already and so now I’m looking through vocabulary and making lists of what I want to do in Australia and I’m also trying to speak to people in French and that might be a little annoying since not everyone knows or even likes to speak French but it’s a beautiful and lovely language but the language I’m not familiar with is Australian because it’s English but it’s not American and that country has an entirely different vernacular and so I hope to pick a lot of it up when I’m interacting with the Aussies and I thought about leaving my extended absence voicemail message in an Australian accent with maybe a kangaroo talking about how it kidnapped me and is keeping me in her giant pouch because I certainly could fit in one of those and maybe let a tiny joey sit on my ear or crawl on top of my face and lick my eyeballs but I don’t imagine Australia being too incredibly arid especially the part where I’m staying and so I did leave an extended absence voicemail and you should call my phone and listen to it because I sound pretty excited and braggy about going across the world and mom called and left a message and then I called her back and she told me to be careful like she always does but she felt surtout strongly because she’s a mom and I’m her daughter and I’m going to be very far away and I started to choke up a little when she said that and it was a nice tender moment and if you don’t have my phone number that’s probably because you shouldn’t have it because everyone I care about talking to has my number or knows someone who has it and can reach me pretty easily and the same goes with my personal email address which is different than this blog’s email address and while people are trying to be considerate and letting me study I can’t seem to focus for too long at once and that’s okay because there’s just so much time before I sit down for the final exam and I hope I don’t crash or blank out or get too confident about my ability to do well because that’s happened to me before and it would be nice to hear from people the day before I can’t literally hear from you for two weeks if you know what I mean donc n’es pas timide parce que j’aime vous parler et si vous n’aimez parler français nous pourrions parler anglais alors ce n’est rien et je vous aime et tout le monde et je crois que me parler m’aiderait à étudier.

Do the rest of you geniuses feel this way?

The Time

It’s coming upon 4AM. I know why this is:

1. I happened to have a diet Mountain Dew with dinner last night.
(1a. It was actually by choice, not by chance.)
(1b. I never drink diet drinks, but they must have reformulated the caffeine, because this stuff ain’t got no mercy.)

2. A small human child will be up in about 90 minutes, and I don’t want him to catch me off guard. I’m banking on Disney and crayons and a lot of sunshine to help me out. Perhaps also food bribes. Goldfish, don’t fail me now.

I’m on a babysitting gig. This is probably the only time today I’ll have to my own thoughts, which is probably for the best, considering my own thoughts of late have turned me into a big, puffy itchy hive.

I tried going to bed around 12:30 this morning, which wasn’t really productive. All I remember is waking once around 2:30, then my friend knocking on the door at 3:30 to let me know she and her husband were leaving. I followed them downstairs and I lay on the couch for a few minutes to prepare for the shock of a freshly waking child who may happen to be grumpy in the form of screaming.

This may seem a bit sarcastic, but also don’t forget:

1. I am jacked up on caffeine.

2. I have seen how the children behave around their parents (delightful and generally typical 2-year-old behavior but manageable), and I have seen them not around their parents (delightful and the other extreme to the nth degree).
– These children will be around me all day into tomorrow (Friday) morning.
– I am not their parents.
– Do the math.

I might be online sporadically throughout the day. Don’t hesitate to comment with suggestions or reassurances, or you can also make fun of me, as long as it makes me laugh. You’ll probably count that as reassuring me. Text me. Send singing telegrams. Whatever it takes.

The churn of the washer provides some nice, white noise. All that sloshing and agitating makes me sleepy. The spin cycle should put me over the edge. I should try to catch a few winks in the next hour. I pray that I dream of you. And if you’re single (or not), and you’re available to babysit when the time comes to watch over my babies, you’re on my list for such a sweet gig. And my dream is that terror and uncertainty don’t consume you when I make this request – imploring you with my irresistible puppy-dog eyes – but only love and eagerness and acceptance because

1. I’ve been such a good friend to you over the years, and I love you. So. Very. Much.

2. I will take you DOWN if you don’t do this for me.

All right, folks, here we go. Let’s just hope the caffeine lasts longer than these sweet bundles of … joy?


I Got to See Ray Today

And we walked to avoid the Parade for Puerto Rican Day
And we threw back and forth some wordplay
And it made me wish even more in New York I could stay
And is it fair to rhyme day with today?
And we had something to eat after we found our way
And then he went to see if he could watch the Yankees play
Or whatever it is they do, whatever they say
Because that’s not baseball, so we should pray
That their luck changes to match their outrageous pay.

So we said goodbye and hugged. And I got pretty emotional crossing Lexington Avenue at 42nd Street. *Sniff*

I’ve had a headache since Friday, and today I took some medicine and drank a caffeinated beverage to alleviate the pressure. It took a while for these chemicals to kick in, but once it did, I was a bit more laughy and eager to learn the Oompa Loompa dance from that Willy Wonka movie.

Then, mostly against my will, I watched Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights. If you want an incredible ensemble cast with a decent cameo and amazing acting, please do NOT watch this movie. If you would like to know how to express your utter happiness when you’ve found true Cuban, latin-dancing love, find another flick. Or write your own. And have your friends be the actors. Because the movie you make would be so much better than what I saw. I don’t know. Maybe I’m being too harsh.

Then I went back uptown to a potluck dinner. I came just in time for games. We played one of those question games where you had to guess who wrote the answers.

At this party I learned a lot of stuff about people!
First celebrity crushes were:
Ricky Shroeder
Bon Jovi
Jennifer Connelly
Casper the Friendly Ghost
Christian Slater
Kirk Cameron

First tapes bought with one’s own money were:
Bon Jovi (not the same who crushed on him, who happened to be a guy)
Vivaldi’s Four Seasons
Billy Joel’s Stormfront
Beauty and the Beast
Weird Al Yankovic

Animals people wanted to be:
Killer Whale
Manta Ray
A dead animal

I also learned what a zebra sounds like. That was fabulous.

Can you guess which of those are mine? My first celebrity crush? The first tape I bought with my own money? The animal I want to be? Can you guess which ones are Becky’s?

Space – Frontier, Not Final

So, I got an external hard drive. 1 TB. Terabyte. 1000 GB. That’s a lot of room, at least for me. I stuck all my photos on it for safe keeping. And that only took up 5 GB. So that means I can take a ton of photos. And video. And maybe I’ll transfer all my music over. I don’t know about storing DVDs yet. I still like sticking the disc in the player and watching it on the television. And I don’t see a need for equipment to convert my computer into a television. That amount of storage should last a very long time, maybe close to 10 years. Or maybe if I start shooting photos in RAW instead of JPEG format. I now don’t know what I’m talking about. I drank an entire Coke with dinner tonight. And I’ve become halfway decent at Guitar Hero. 

I played my clarinet for seminary class Thursday morning. I wasn’t all that nervous. That surprised me.

It is about time to start getting more serious posts out. I have to go back to organizing my thoughts properly.