Adventures in Potty Training 20160115

Date: 15 Jan 2016

Trips to the potty: 5

Successful attempts: 5

Poops: 0

Other notes:

She goes when we put her on the potty! Also, she doesn’t go during her naps. So far. This is a big deal. So far.

We’ve been bare-bumming it most of the week, and we decided to try big girl panties the past couple of days. She’s only been a little reluctant. But she hasn’t pooped or peed in them so far.

Z didn’t poop. We waited all day. But she had those two poops in a row the night before. Really nervous about the next day.

Adventures in Potty Training 20160114

Date: 14 Jan 2016

Trips to the potty: 5

Successful attempts: 5 (including poops)

Poops: 2

Turds dropped on floor: 0

Description of poops: Z decided to wait until the end of the day to eliminate feces. We caught her just starting in the living room and ran her to the toilet. She finished, I cleaned her up, and she ran back to the living room. A few seconds later as her father was carrying her back to put on a nighttime diaper, she started going AGAIN. We set her on the toilet where she finished AGAIN. We figure if she had stayed on the toilet a little while longer the first time, this would have counted as one poop session.

Other notes:

Really good day. It looks like Z can space out her pees 2 or so hours apart. Still anxious about her learning to poop in the toilet. I’m confident she’ll catch on.

Adventures in Potty Training 20160113

Date: 13 Jan 2016

Trips to the potty: 6

Successful attempts: 4.5 (including poops)

Description of unsuccessful attempts:

I brought out a step ladder for Z to play on in the living room because it was cold outside, and I wanted Z to be able to have some physical activity. The first unsuccessful attempt occurred in the morning while she was playing on the ladder.

The second unsuccessful attempt happened while we were watching television. I was sitting on the loveseat, and Z was climbing on me. While she was standing on my lap, she let loose. I ran her to the toilet to complete the pee.

Poops: 2

Turds dropped on floor: 1

Description of poops: The turd dropped on the floor came, again, while she was playing on the step ladder in the living room. I wasn’t quick enough to carry her to the toilet, and I thought her little potty was somewhere it wasn’t. This disoriented me, and I lost focus. Z tried picking up the turd. She watched me pick it up with toilet paper, and I walked her to the toilet and let her see me putting the turd in it. She got to flush the toilet and say goodbye to the turd.

The second poop was successful, in that it was a matter of being alert and quick. I hope doing this consistently will pay off.

Other notes:

Not a perfect day, but not an utter failure, either. This probably has to do with my mother staying with us for the week, and I took her to the airport early in the morning, and Z noticed she wasn’t with us anymore. It may also have to do with Z being a baby, too. She’s doing great, though.

Adventures in Potty Training 20160112

Date: 12 Jan 2016

Trips to the potty: 6

Successful attempts: 6 (including poops)

Poops: 1

Turds dropped on floor: 0

Description of poops: This was an instance of being alert and quick. Instead of running to the toilet, we used her little potty that we keep either in the kitchen or living room.

Other notes:

This day was a perfect day, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath. Little Z is catching on, but she’s still a baby, so it’s better for me to keep expecting accidents, but also maintain a positive attitude.

Adventures in Potty Training 20160111

Date: 11 Jan 2016

Trips to the potty: 10

Successful attempts: 8 (including poops)

Description of unsuccessful attempts:

The first fully unsuccessful attempt occurred early in the day, after the first successful attempt. It was getting close to when I would take her to the potty again; I was timing them about an hour apart. She began and completed a pee on the loveseat in the living room.

The first half-successful attempt occurred in the early afternoon. Z was spinning around in the living room, trying to watch television from different angles. She had pooped maybe five minutes earlier. She perched herself on the bottom shelf of the entertainment center and began a pee. I caught her mid-pee and carried her to the toilet where she finished.

The second half-successful attempt occurred in the afternoon. Z walked to the bathroom and stood on top of the stool which was in front of the sink. (I usually move this stool from beside the toilet to the sink so she can wash her hands.) About two seconds after standing on the stool, she began a pee. It was a steady, fast stream. I transferred her to the toilet where she completed the pee.

Poops: 2

Turds dropped on floor: 0

Description of poops: Both instances occurred in the living room. Once she was standing on the floor, and the other time, she was kneeling on the loveseat. As soon as I saw the feces barely emerge, I picked her up and rushed her to the toilet.

Other notes:

This is the second round of potty training for our little one. It has been a full week. We first tried during Christmas break, but we ended up going out too much and disrupted any semblance of a routine. It seems she’s getting the hang of peeing, but not without our scrubbing the carpet numerous times, her peeing in a public library entryway during a library school graduation, and her peeing on both of her parents.

Pooping is definitely trickier, and the only way to approach this is to be super watchful and quick to carry her to the toilet. Z has pooped on the carpet in the living room and on the kitchen floor. There have been times when she’s dropped turds on the floor when I’ve tried running her to the toilet from the living room and kitchen, holding her with my arms stretched as far away from me as possible. (I’ve since modified this technique of carrying her to the toilet.) Turning the corner from the living room to the bathroom, a turd has caught radial inertia and hit the far hallway wall. We want to avoid all of this. Pooping is extremely nervewracking.

We’ve been keeping a queen size bed sheet with towels underneath it in the living room to make accidents easier to clean.

We have done so many loads of laundry in the past week. Mostly of the sheet and towels. Thanks to my mom for doing a lot of the laundry.

Our Z is doing great; we will continue to monitor her progress.

Hindsight is 2015

Whenever I think about resolutions, there are the standard goals of exercising more and eating better, reading more books and eating out less, waking up earlier and writing more, but my greatest desires for improvement always lie in relationships.

Back in August, Reilly and I gave talks at church about the complementarity of gender roles. We had moved to a new area of town at the beginning of June, and this was a way for us to bear our testimonies and for our fellow ward members to get to know us better.

(This reminds me that we forgot to tell people we’d moved, so we’ve received a lot of Christmas cards this week with yellow stickers reminding us to tell people our new address. Sorry, guys. If you still need our address, let me know.)

When the day came to give our talks, we’d already been in the ward two months, and that gave me a chance to observe the members and relate my thoughts on gender roles to our ward, which consists of a large number of nontraditional family situations. We were specifically instructed only to use the scriptures and General Conference talks in our remarks. This makes sense because I’ve heard people say some truly outrageous things from the pulpit. I referred to this talk by Sister Chieko N. Okazaki and emphasized this quote:

Here are two quilts. Both are handmade, beautiful, and delightful to snuggle down in or wrap around a grandchild. Now look at this quilt. It’s a Hawaiian quilt with a strong, predictable pattern. We can look at half of the quilt and predict what the other half looks like. Sometimes our lives seem patterned, predictable in happy ways, in order.

Now look at this second quilt. This style is called a crazy quilt. Some pieces are the same color, but no two pieces are the same size. They’re odd shapes. They come together at odd angles. This is an unpredictable quilt. Sometimes our lives are unpredictable, unpatterned, not neat or well-ordered.

Well, there’s not one right way to be a quilt as long as the pieces are stitched together firmly. Both of these quilts will keep us warm and cozy. Both are beautiful and made with love. There’s not just one right way to be a Mormon woman, either, as long as we are firmly grounded in faith in the Savior, make and keep covenants, live the commandments, and work together in charity.

The ideas in this analogy include and not exclude, and I want to apply them not only to my family but to every interaction I will face.

I described ways in which Reilly and I are compatible. We love books, music, good television and movies. We’re both short. But is compatibility the same as complementarity? Being a complement takes effort, it requires work to observe and a desire to understand; deep and meaningful relationships go beyond what we have in common. Commonalities are a good place to start, though.

At the beginning of November, we attended a friend’s wedding reception. We didn’t stay long because Z was struggling with the big unfamiliar crowd. It was wonderful seeing the beautiful couple so happy, so fresh. I’d seen pictures that hinted at a fun courtship; I’d seen participation in a well-meaning but poorly executed web reality show. The culmination of their experiences together ended perfectly in a new beginning.

Reilly and I reminisce about our courtship and wedding all the time. This discussion has expanded to reflections on our continued dating and pregnancy and major milestones with Z. The past makes me hopeful for the future and grateful for the now. This process of thinking and remembering makes time seem not as relentless and life much more enjoyable.

The end of November presented me with attending a friend’s father’s funeral. He taught at the same middle school Reilly attended, though Reilly was not in any of his classes. I made it to the last hour of the funeral, where family members told stories that demonstrated the remarkable life of a good man. The chapel was packed, and it was obvious that he was loved and that he left the world a better place, at least for those who knew him.

As tears streamed down my face as I listened to these stories, I realized again just how beautiful and uplifting funerals can be. Mount Timpanogos backdropped the quiet and sprawling cemetery where I had a chance to see my friend and give her a big hug. She lives in New York, and it had been a few years since I’d seen her. While I’m grateful to connect to friends through social media, I’m especially grateful a huge part of the legacy a man left for this earth manifests itself in his phenomenal children.

There is still so much to learn in this life, and I only took a few experiences out of the past year to discuss. I look at my husband and daughter and wonder how my attitude and philosophy and convictions will influence them. I wonder about my friends and other family. I wonder how I will become better in areas where I am inadequate. I want to be more thoughtful, a better listener, to solve more problems. My imprint on this world needs to mean something.

The last song in Patty Griffin’s most recent album, Servant of Love, is called “Shine a Different Way.” Some of my favorite lines read:

In more ways than one
Shine a different way tomorrow

Tomorrow is a new year–2016: Olympics, election, other significant stuff. But more importantly, it’s tomorrow, a new beginning, a fresh start, a way to contemplate and become a better person. There’s no one right way.

Let’s be better together, bask in inevitable cognitive dissonance, lift each other up. Let’s solve and re-solve and resolve with civility and love and kindness and find all the different ways we can shine.

Happy New Year.

 2015c

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j,,,,mzz . Social Navigation

[The first part of the title is Z’s. I stepped away from the computer for two seconds, and she decided she wants to blog.]

The Saturday before Halloween our ward had a chili cook-off and Halloween carnival. Earlier in the day I had put Z’s costume on her to see if it fit and so she could get used to it. I’d taken it off so that she wouldn’t get too hot. When it was time to get ready for the party, I struggled with Z to put the costume on, but she finally relented.

She was cranky. She didn’t have much of a nap that day, and when I tried to paint her with a lion face–super simple, a short black upside-down triangle covering the bottom of her nose, a white snout, and black whiskers–she wouldn’t stay still. She looked like she’d eaten powdered donuts mixed with soot.

It’s two blocks to our church building, but we decided to go on a little drive to to fit in a little nap for Z. We drove around for about 10 minutes before pulling up to the church. Z was sleeping. We found a place to sit. Reilly held our dozing child while I stood in line to get us food.

rawr.

We made it through most of our meal before Z woke up. The moment she opened her eyes, she began to cry. She saw all the people and heard all the noise. I would have been overwhelmed as well.

We tried feeding Z, but she was too upset. Reilly took her into the foyer for a little while, and when they came back, Z was no longer wearing her costume. But she was still crying.

Time to go. The instant we stepped outside into the cool air and fuzzy ambiance of dusk, our little toddler calmed down. We went home and she played until bedtime.

The following Friday I decided to get our money’s worth out of Z’s costume, so I put it on her, and we went to the library. She likes climbing the stairs to the juvenile section.

On the prowl...
On the prowl…

Z especially loves to play in the courtyard between wings. It was chilly outside, but the costume seemed to keep her warm enough.

Bounding down the hill...
Bounding down the hill…

We then went to Provo Towne Centre Mall, where she could play in the kids’ area and walk around. She fell asleep in the car on the way, but I brought her to the kids’ area and lay her down to let her sleep. When she woke up, she didn’t move but watched the other kids playing for a while.

Just watching...
Just watching…

After walking and playing, we went back home to walk and play some more.

Lion slide
Lion slide

We checked the mail, and Z likes to see if we received any packages.

Where's our mail?
Where’s our mail?

Then came Halloween day. We were up until 1am the night before watching scary movies with Reilly’s brothers (Z was in bed), so Reilly and I were quite tired. But we wanted to do something for Halloween. We decided to accept an invitation to a party. We all got in our costumes.

Off to see the Wizard...
Off to see the Wizard…

We thought Z might have another tantrum, but she was actually very good. We were early to the party, so we left to get eat some pie and came back. But the person who invited us wasn’t there yet, and it was getting late (8:30!), so we just came back home and put Z to bed. I invited friends over, and we watched another scary movie and stayed up past midnight.

The following Tuesday we went to a wedding reception in Riverton. We stood in the reception line no longer than two minutes. When we got to talk to the beautiful bride and groom, Z began to cry. We wrapped up our conversation and found a seat and I got up to get some refreshments–s’mores. Perfect for a crisp evening. I thought Z might like the chocolate and graham crackers. Z ate quietly for a few minutes, but maybe it was the crowd of strangers and unfamiliar chatter and not being able to run around like she usually does before she started crying.

Again, once we stepped outside, she stopped crying.

She did really well her first time in nursery, but she’s had a rougher time the past few Sundays.

Then last night Reilly and I brought Z to a ward missionary meeting in someone’s home. She did fine playing on their carpeted stairs. She jabbered and checked in on us every few minutes. Someone else’s toddler was there. Once when he stood in Z’s way she looked at him and did something that looked like frustrated jazz hands before walking around him.

From these experiences I’ve observed:

  • Z likes small groups, especially with family. (Just like Reilly and I.)
  • Z likes being able to run around and explore.
  • Z doesn’t like a lot of noise or strangers.
  • Z isn’t sure what to think about other toddlers.

From these observations, maybe:

  • Z could adjust to being around people her age more often. (Just like Reilly and I.)
  • Reilly and I could have more creative solutions whenever Z doesn’t feel like being very social with us.

Times like these I wish I knew what I was doing, but we’re okay. We’re learning. And she’s only 19 months old, so there’s that.