And it was wonderful. Of course some of the performances weren’t as good as others, and the audience had to vote for their favorite sets, and it was awesome.

I think I’m completely starstruck by a certain department head. Je oublie comment parler français when I’m around her. It’s ridiculous.

—

Yesterday, I took preemptive measures not to be stood up again. Twice. Two different people. I’m getting really tired of people not following through with what they say. Is it the time of year or the weather or something in the water that makes people flaky? Guess what? I’m living in the same dimension of space-time as these people and I’m going through the same gamut of insanity. And it’s not like what I’m asking for is super complicated: just effing show up for lunch during the non-school hour of the day. Or otherwise communicate why you can’t make it. Or, when you say you’re looking forward to meeting up, don’t immediately come up with a bunch of excuses for not being able to make plans. And this isn’t the demanding aspect of my friendship. I’m flexible enough to allow for forgetfulness but it’s happened way too many times in the past couple of months not to categorize the isolated and unrelated incidents as noncoincidental and pure buttholery. Unfair, I know. I shouldn’t take it personally, I know. It’s just life. And life right now is reminding me I can’t depend on people for happiness. Myself  included. We all suck.

I’m just tired, you guys. I’m physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually tired. I don’t love school right now, and there’s just too  much to do and not enough time to do it well.

Those are my excuses. I’m a butthole, too.