It’s A Conspiracy

Everything is due December 8. Papers in all my English classes. I turned in some French assignments early today to get them out of the way.

Yes, of course all the professors got together and agreed to torture the student body the last two weeks of school instead of ending the semester at Thanksgiving like any humanitarian would.

Yes, I’m taking a little time to post a little more often here. I’m more content when I can see the words that represent the thoughts and feelings I’m trying to sort through.

Yes, as crazy as things will be, I agreed to a date on Saturday.

Yet, as crazy as things will be, you may have to wait until after finals for details.

Conspiracy, indeed.

I Absolutely Had to Post This

Consider your Christmas shopping when watching the (fake) commercial below. (Thanks, Brian, via Alyssa Milano via Brainpicker.)

Or maybe just order one of these for yourself or a literate loved one:

Jane Austen
Edgar Allan Poe
Charles Dickens
Oscar Wilde
William Shakespeare

Vodpod videos no longer available.



Hey, how about that mondo snow storm, the blizzard of 2010? Some scary stuff, right? Silly meteorologists.

I know you’ve shut down and checked out for the semester, and I don’t know what more I can say to try to motivate you. It’s been hard. It’s been a hard year, but remember what Kimberly said about transitions? She said for her it’s taken her at least a year to adjust to new parts of her life. As your year closes, it may have just come to its worst point before things start looking up. You’ve realized some really important things about relationships, things you innately understood as an  impressionable youth with a malleable soul. You can be just as confident and trusting of your friends and family as you were then. Yes, you’re a different person now, so of course you play a different role; you meet different needs, but you also need to acknowledge that you have different needs now, too. I know you like to think of yourself as the constant one, always there, always checking up, providing support, but not everybody needs that from you. You’re slowly accepting this, and it’s a big step. Adjustment is hardly ever easy, especially as we get older. Plus, let’s just be realistic: you’re thousands of miles away from your familiar worlds. Things naturally change when you’re not there, that’s the simple truth. You spent eight years in Jacksonville (Middleburg) and over six and a half years in New York. Those are major chunks of your life and you know better now not to expect a transition less rough than what you’ve faced. You miss both places immensely, and you’re finally starting to warm up to your hometown again. I don’t want you to resent NYC the way you did Jacksonville. I know what you’re thinking, or what you’re starting to think: you don’t ever want to go back. Stop being angry. Just: stop. You’ve forged a new path in your life, and your friends and family are moving on without you. That’s what people do: they do what they can to be happy. They don’t depend on you and you can’t depend on them for happiness. Yes, you all love each other, but you’re not each other’s sole reason for existing. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but you don’t need to keep disappointing people or unduly pushing them away. May, just believe in the love. That is always going to be there, no matter if everything else changes. You’ve always valued and nurtured your relationships and now it’s time to take better care of yourself. So, start believing in yourself, too.

He Forgets Not His Own

OVE bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack’d anything.
‘A guest,’ I answer’d, ‘worthy to be here:’
Love said, ‘You shall be he.’
‘I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,
I cannot look on Thee.’
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
‘Who made the eyes but I?’
‘Truth, Lord; but I have marr’d them: let my shame
Go where it doth deserve.’
‘And know you not,’ says Love, ‘Who bore the blame?’
‘My dear, then I will serve.’
‘You must sit down,’ says Love, ‘and taste my meat.’
So I did sit and eat.

“Love” – George Herbert

I just sat at a table and feasted until I could feast no more. I’m always a little shy around strangers, but they didn’t turn me away. There was comfortable conversation and laughter, and while I wasn’t with any relatives, I felt like I was with family. Though I may have inwardly resisted, because this family’s brand of crazy is a little bit different than to what I am accustomed, I accepted the invitation. The host gave me grace, and I sat down.

So hopefully goes the time when I come to Love’s table. (Except after feasting at Love’s table, I don’t get merciless heartburn and my host has to give me medicine to relieve the pressure. I feel a lot better after a couple hours.)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I am so very grateful for all of you. I have my reasons, which I’m also grateful for. 🙂


At 1:33pm:

The National Weather Service is warning of a winter storm today that “will far surpass anything that we’ve seen, probably for the last several years.” The combination of snow, extreme cold, and possibly damaging winds will make travel extremely hazardous. The storm will begin in the north and move south, hitting Salt Lake City later this afternoon.

Please watch the weather reports and be prudent in your travels.

At 2:06pm:

This is a Y-Alert. As you were informed earlier, a major blizzard warning has been issued by the National Weather Service. Because of the severity of this expected storm, BYU will close campus at 3 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 23, 2010. All classes should be canceled after this time.

Campus will be closed on Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2010, except for essential services as determined by unit supervisors. If you have questions about specific locations or events, we encourage you to contact the respective organization.

At this time, the men’s and women’s basketball games are still scheduled.

I’ll spare you any sarcasm about the basketball games. Please be careful out there. I’ll be so very pissed if you die. You know this.


My half-birthday seems more fun than my real one. Those numbers are easier to play with. Some friends suggested a few ideas for yesterday:


You guys are great. But I did none of those things. Just school and work. I can’t remember if I ate food. Hate when that happens. Life’s been pretty crazy, but that’s normal.

I’m very much looking forward to not going to school for five days and eating until I die. Just fyi.

It’s Almost 2am

What am I doing up?

I’ll be heading to bed soon.

A certain department head sent me an email this evening, and it was a delightful little surprise. It came at midnight.

What was she doing up?

Anyway, the other night after the talent show, while I was waiting for the bus, I saw her running across the street to the parking lot.

Yes, running. And of course it amused me, because in my head, the French don’t run.

Researching, Measuring Up

So, I have asked people I’ve known around or fewer than five years.

I’ve asked people I’ve known going on twenty years.

The people I’ve known for a shorter time responded relatively quickly.

The people I’ve known longer took some time to think about it.

This seems right, though not entirely reflective of the people themselves. Or of me.

Thanks, all. Maybe I’m just more self-conscious of my height than I thought.

I thought I was more comfortable with it. Maybe I should get some taller shoes.