Not Grateful

Dear People,

Do you even read this blog anymore? I did start writing here over seven years ago as a way to update friends and family about my life. Now it seems I’m talking to empty space. A void.

I miss the details about your lives. I miss being involved. And present. And I realize what I signed up for when I returned to school, but I didn’t fully understand how much it would change everything.

Are we even friends anymore? I don’t recognize what this is, us.

Maybe I’m having trouble correlating my absence with the obvious consequence of delayed gratification. I’m used to being in the loop, instantly and constantly. Even when things were strained between us, when we were in the same room, at least we could share the elephant that stood in the middle of it.

Everything about all my relationships is palpable to me. They have texture and dimension. And when they seem to sublimate before me, I worry.

Is it really as easy as “Out of sight, out of mind”? It can’t be, else I might as well take Occam’s Razor across my wrist.

7 thoughts on “Not Grateful

  1. Never mistake my lack of commenting for a lack of interest. I try to read every word, and I love every word I read.

    Of all the friends who were once friends-of-friends before dropping that prepositional phrase at the end, you are among the fewest I anticipate, and appreciate, and respect the mostest.

  2. Blogging can be a lonely enterprise, especailly if people are not reading and commenting on it.

    You gave a refernce about Occam’s razor in your post. I take it you are majoring in science becuase that is an arcane scientific theory about the simplest solution is usually the best one. I don’t get that reference in your post. I know what it means obviously but don’t understand the relevance of it in your post.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  3. Still here! ::hugs:: I’m just swamped with work so not commenting much on anyone’s posts and blogs. I’m always glad to read about your life and everything you’re up to.

    Love from Cardiff,

  4. I love reading you blog. I’m the worst at making comments, but I’m totally here – interested as always in my friend’s life. Miss you in NYC!

    Lots of hugs

  5. Occam’s razor across the wrist… good imagery. 🙂 err… depressing imagery, but creative in a good way. 🙂

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