The following is a text message conversation that recaps a lighter side of my yesterday. Yesterday was a lot to handle. Paragraph breaks distinguish between speakers. I can’t believe I thumb-tapped those responses on the number pad of my unsmart phone. I’m just bummed this friend is so sad. Life is so hard sometimes.
… Since you’re up. Let me ask. Was I a crappy listener?
You listened well. That was a lot of your appeal.
Mmm perhaps I’ve changed?
Possible. Don’t overanalyze. You also do that well.
Lol yes I do. I just can’t wrap my head around why she is so angry w me now. How it changed so fast and how everything is now my fault and I don’t hear her.
I surmise she’s really inside herself and not rational with her grief. It needs time. Don’t get sucked in.
Why does she get mad that I’m not letting go emotionally right now? [I]m a loyal person. I’m respecting boundries just haven’t totally fallen out of love.
Because it adds to her guilt.
Why does that make her mad and then she tells me to go on a date?
Just because she doesn’t want you doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt her or that she knows how to move on yet.
Why would she feel guilt?
Because you’re hurt. There’s always guilt to some degree.
But she professes she wants her independence. She doesn’t like feeling caged?
She knows what she wants, sure, but getting there is different. And really tough after a breakup. You’ll both be in limbo a while.
I just don’t get it. I can’t accept it. It doesn’t make complete sense.
You’re not going to get it for a while. That’s normal. You’ll get through it.
How can the opinion of friends and society be worth more than love?
Hard, constant battle to fight. That’s just how some people see it.
I want to get angry and spiteful w her but I just can’t. I can’t be fake and pretend I don’t care.
Process it however you need to.
It is what it is. If others don’t get it f em. Who is anyone to judge? We are all human
Now you’re getting somewhere.
Sorry I went off. Just a hard day I guess.
Don’t be sorry. What you’re going through isn’t easy or simple.
Sigh yeah. Thanks for listening…Didn’t mean to overload you there.
I can take it. 🙂