In the Spirit of Everything Sarcastic

People, I skipped church this morning. Like, I woke up late on purpose and avoided the three-hour block.

But, I did attend a meeting. I walked the block from my apartment building to the church, opened the door, traipsed right in, said hi to a few people. Church had just ended, and people gathered to socialize in the hall. It’s kind of like a street fair, except without all the haggling and strange-smelling food.

I saw a fellow committee member and he led me into the room where we’d be meeting. We started off with the formal pleasantries, hi how are you blah blah, then he went right in with, “So, where’s your head with moving and school and are you still thinking about it?”

So I told him.

Then other committee members trickled in and maybe they caught wind of our conversation, so they basically asked the same questions, one at a time, as if they were standing in line. What? You’re what? Really? When? You haven’t?

I was in a room with four other guys. And I was trying to answer all their questions. I wondered where the other woman on the committee was. Whatever.

Then other people saw me sitting in this room and walked in, because the meeting hadn’t started, and they started asking me questions – the same barrage of questions – and I looked to the guy sitting next to me, questioning the situation with my eyes, and he said, “Everybody knows.”

Of course everybody knows. Of flippin’ course.

I mean, one guy, he mentioned that I hinted at something on twitter, and I forget that people actually follow me on twitter, and if I’m posting something on a public forum, even if it is a bit enigmatic, it becomes public knowledge.

And it sort of started at girls’ camp a few weeks ago when a friend said, “So, May, I heard this rumor …”

I haven’t necessarily been dodging the issue. If people approach me and ask me what’s going on in my life, I will answer them directly. And I’ll provide details, how many depending on how comfortable I am with the people.

But, when people I’ve told nothing to come up to me and start inquiring about my life plans, I’ve had a little trouble coming to terms that people talk. I attend church, belong to a community where people share their lives with each other willingly. Word spreads. It’s not that I’m not trying to keep a secret, per se, but I like to deliver my own news.

I don’t know if that’s too much to expect. Maybe I know that it is, and while it’s not a good reason to skip church, that’s a big part of why I skipped church. So maybe I should just dispel all the hearsay so that I can have my Sundays back:

Everyone, the rumors are true.

But you already knew that.