I might give Glee another chance. Maybe.

Well, let’s see. This show is relatively entertaining. The music is fun – at least from the pilot, and the characters are round-enough caricatures.  Coach Sylvester is certainly quotable. Mr. Schuester is plenty attractive, the students are easily peggable. I can see the story arcs a mile away, and they’re shamelessly and sufficiently inflated so that I don’t have to suspend my disbelief, but instead set it in a box and wear my rose-colored glasses, slightly skewed, which I’m perfectly fine with. I like a little reality in my escapism.

Mostly, I watch for the musical productions, but even last night, I took issue with that.

People, second episode. The dialogue was dirty. Dirty. Durrrrrty. Granted, I overheard a lot of conversations in high school that rivaled last night’s script. I walked away from those. Between classes, I walked the halls and when I heard someone swear, I’d say, “Ouch, my ears!” No lie. I was kind of a dork. Krod. Last night’s episode made me grimace and cringe and turn my head and say “Seriously? Really? Oh, come on.” All I wanted was for those kids on television to channel all the tension into something songy and dancy.

Songy and dancy.

Second episode, second issue: agenda much? Abstinence versus contraception. Not that high school students don’t soapbox, because they do. They do. Not that a girl like Rachel wouldn’t speak out and say girls are just as hormonal as guys and want “it” just as much as guys. And never would I have participated in a celibacy club in high school, because, yeah, Middleburg High School. That never would have flown, though I really wish I could have walked out of one of the band practice room one day, when, say, a certain trumpet player and a certain flute player came in and closed the door while I was practicing my clarinet and started … going at it. They were leaning against the door. I was trapped. I couldn’t watch, so I just kept playing. My own songy and dancy. My fellow band members – the ones smooching right in front of me – now had a soundtrack: the clarinet part to that year’s marching repertoire. So romantic.

Oh, and when the songy and dancy finally happened in last night’s episode? At the school assembly? “Push It” by Salt ‘n’ Pepa? Seriously? Really? Come on! The students’ argument against performing “Freak Out!” was that it was old, outdated, disco. Mr. Schuester explained that the song worked for them back in 1991 because disco resurged temporarily. Thing is, “Push It” dates back at least to my 6th grade year. That means 1987. 19-freaking-87. I was the only one among my viewing party mouthing the words during the production number, but then I stopped because 1) I realized how old I am and 2) the words are dirty, and it occurred to me how easily this song diffused into my head when I was FREAKING 11 years old. The high school students in this show, if it’s set in the present, WEREN’T EVEN BORN when this song came out, so its time argument against disco deconvinces. Just saying, it’s fine that the glee club wants to recruit more members with a sexy song, but at least make the song more current. There are a lot of awesome, skanky-ho songs out there to choose from. Use one of those fine, catchy tunes, dance to it, make me snap my fingers and sing along, like last week with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Remind me why I started watching the show.

I shouldn’t have forgotten only two episodes in.