“Love you, just in case …”

Just got off the phone with my brother. We were chatting along, the way we do. He asked me what my plans are for today. I told him I might try to fit in some sleep, as I awesomely put away another three hours last night. I was about to explain to him my body’s reaction to caffeine, but I sensed an urgency in his voice, so I clipped that thought and asked him if he needed to go. He said, “Well, yeah. But only because there are, like, 20 Asian women around me all of a sudden.” Then he laughed.

I’m pretty sure he was joking, but for some reason I’d imagined the scenario, and it became a very strong possibility in my mind. He was at work when he called. I mean, people stop by his work all the time. In fact, in June after the roadtrip, my mom and I pulled into his work so we all could go to dinner together, because I was leaving the next day to return to New York, and I wanted some Frank time. His friends pick him up to hang out because he doesn’t drive. So. 20 Asian women: why not?

Anyway, he is pretty busy at work, and I was pleasantly surprised he returned my call, even before 9:00 this morning. As we were winding up the call, he said he’d try to call me later, and I said that would be fine. Then we laughed, because we’re always laughing, and then he said, “Love you, just in case,” and that touched me, and I said, “Love you, too,” and then we said goodbye.

Sometimes I get scared that we’ll end a call and we won’t have told “I love you” to each other. It actually terrifies me, and my stomach knots just thinking about it. I could go on and on about that brother of mine, but I already have.

I hope I get to talk to him later.

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