For Karissa’s Birthday

Dear Major Mortgage Company in Richmond, VA:

My friend, Karissa, her birthday is June 17. She’s in Japan, which means her birthday is about 2 hours away for her. She is closing a deal on a house through you guys, which is supposed to happen on June 17, and you assured her while she was here in the States everything would be fine, but now? while she’s halfway across the world? You want her to jump through some other hoops.


And now, she’s on the phone with you guys. She stayed up late over there so she could speak to someone during business hours over here to get your mess straightened out. I mean, this is a HOUSE. Not a small or light decision. And you didn’t bother letting her know about these formalities until … THIS WEEK?

You’re making her crazy. And then she’ll probably not be able to sleep, and she has to go to work all day, on her birthday, worrying about it. When you assured her she wouldn’t have to worry.

So, I’m asking you now: Fix it. Stop trying to go back on your word. Just fix it. And then send her a birthday cake. And arrange for someone to sing to her.

If you don’t fix it, I’ll have to come down there and kick your teeth in. Because Karissa asked me to. And she doesn’t ask me to do that often.

Please. Do what’s best for everybody.



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