Oh, Sunday. How I love thee and those quiet afternoons which beckon me like a righteous siren to slumber. Naps are nice.
So I have this talk that I gave about three weeks ago. Speaking in church makes me very nervous, and so I wrote the whole thing out. It’s maybe 5 minutes long, there’s no room for tangents or anecdotes; I had in mind that the other seminary teachers were speaking, and I wanted to keep it short. I tried choosing my words carefully, and I tried staying true to the topic, which was the blessings of seminary and regular scripture study. I gave the talk, I sat down, I let it alone. I wondered if it helped people. It was the day we turned our clocks ahead, so that made me nervous. I don’t know.
I’ve been thinking about it since. Some friends have wanted me to deliver this talk because they weren’t able to attend that meeting. And then some things are popping up in seminary that contradict what I presented in my talk. And it’s not like none of that is my fault. I can’t talk about it here. The only people who should take part in this discussion are my seminary class.
Anyway, I haven’t yet been able to read this talk to my friends. And I’ve been thinking about just posting it here, because this is where my writing goes to settle down and sometimes rest. My writing likes napping, too. But I like my friends, and I wonder if they’d feel jilted if I didn’t read it to them. I mean, other things have come up; a good time to be spiritual outside of church hasn’t presented itself. But it’s not like we couldn’t create that kind of situation, either. But, it’s not like the talk was anything new or profound. Still, it did come from my heart.
I think I’ll just let it be.
Today has been quite fabulous. Church every Sunday just brings it. The social interaction is nice, but it’s good to discuss deep and important and spiritual things. The learning and growing and nurturing of our souls that goes on is incredible. The friends I have who share the same beliefs are a tremendous support.
And, maybe today, I talked to more guys than girls, but the deeper dialogue was with the women. And they’re women who are funny and charming and so intelligent it’s ridiculous, and I totally want to be them because they inspire and stimulate my brain and I feel … twinkled just by being around them.
It was fun sitting between the guys during Sunday school, though. For some reason that helps when that happens every once in a while.
So, as you know, I was sick last week. This week, I have a residual, persistent cough. This happens often after having a cold or some other respiratory infection. Then a couple of weeks later, I’ll still be coughing, more out of habit than a result of being ill.
So maybe this cough that’s become second nature can be likened to my gospel behavior. Maybe circumstances are such that I have to do this unpleasant thing, but it’s a purgatory thing, ultimately beneficial. And then I find I’m still doing this thing, involuntarily, subconsciously, because it’s what I’ve constantly been doing for weeks.
But then again, sometimes, I want to be more deliberate about it. But sometimes, it happens – out of my control, and it’s just better that way.
Just like this nap I’m about to take.