Things I Might Have Given Up for Lent If I Celebrated It

mini powdered donuts – my love never fadeth; I had normal-size powdered donuts this week, and the taste was totally different.

corner/edge brownie pieces – but I’d make the sacrifice to eat the middle pieces. Give me a medal of honor already.

Heroes – this would require to stop going to a friend’s apartment to keep from watching it. I didn’t sign up for giving up awesome friends for Lent.

Guitar Hero – I’m not completely addicted, but I would venture to say withdrawal symptoms are likely, especially if I don’t get to play “The Kill” by 30 Seconds to Mars or “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World.

vending machines – not necessarily buying things from them. Whenever I pass a vending machine, I have to stop and study its contents. I like memorizing the alphanumeric combinations. F3 on the machine at work is for Reeses’ Peanut Butter Cups.

Mayor Bloomberg tap water – I really love NYC tap water. It’s among the best in the country. How could I possibly give that up? What do I drink instead? Soda pop? Gogurt?

sleep – I LOVE sleep! I can’t even describe how much my body craves sleep. I don’t get enough of it already, but if I gave sleep up completely for 40 days, I wouldn’t be the only one suffering.

sunshine – people who live at the poles do this for months at a time. All I know is it would be so hard to give up sleep AND sunshine during the same Lent period.

compelling Sunday School classes – these are a rarity, but when they’re good, they’re incredible. Sometimes a little speculative quip will find its way into an intensively doctrinal discussion. That’s kind of like sprinking anchovies on brownies. DOES NOT BELONG.

constellations – it would not make me a stronger person to give up my romantic and scientific sensibilities for 40 days.

winter – YES! totally writing winter out of my life. Spring should be well on its way by Easter, right?