I Want Brownies

On the short, three-block walk from the subway to my apartment building this evening, I thought, I am SO done with platonic friendships. No more. I have more guy friends than should be legal. I don’t need any more. I’m fine with the males in my life serving only to balance the abundant estrogen that my wonderful girl friends provide. I don’t know, it’s hard for me to say I can’t hang out with these boys, because it’s not like I spend a lot of time with them. I see them at church, and that’s it, outside of the occasional movie or concert every few or six months. At the same time, I don’t want to spend a lot of time with a boy who doesn’t want to be more than friends. But, most boys I know are sensible enough not to hang out with me like that. They know if they’re going to spend a lot of time with a girl, they’d better be wooing her. I’m not saying my situation is insufferable, I just really have no need for more guy friends.

Then I approached the door of my apartment building. I was done thinking about it. Over it. I was cold and cranky and tired and wanted to get inside. Three blocks.

If you’re up later on this evening, go and check out Comet Lulin. It’s probably brighter if you’re not in a city with dense light pollution. Enjoy.

Word Association

The word providence has been floating around in my head. When people ask me how I ended up in New York City, sometimes I answer, “Providence.” It only very recently occurred to me the word contained in this word, provide. Then the connection only very recently clicked, and the word’s meaning became so much deeper for me.


It’s not a default answer; it’s what I say when nothing else explains why or how.

What brought you to New York City?
Can you explain why your biological father has found you?
How is it that your dad responded so positively when you told him you’ve been talking to your biological father? (I’ll tell that story later.)

All providence. That’s all I can say.

He provides.