2008 Songs on Repeat: “Nobody’s Crying” by Patty Griffin

About the video below, I believe I was at this particular performance. It was at the Beacon Theatre in April, 2007. I heard the opening chords and I heard her voice start in and my heart pretty much ripped open. The first time I heard “Nobody’s Crying” by Patty Griffin, I was crying.

I know I’ve raved about this song before. It goes through definite long, repetitive cycles for me, and this past year was no exception. And, not so strangely enough, it’s playing right now. 2009. JANUARY. Sticking with the relationship songs, it’s kind of the story of my life, or the beginning of my life, indirectly, like, right now, if you look at it from the right angle. If you’ve ever had any kind of heartache, I dedicate this song to you. Pay particular attention to the bridge that begins, “May you dream you are dreaming in a warm soft bed.”

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more about “Patty Griffin – Nobody’s Crying“, posted with vodpod

 

He jumps in the taxi for the sky
He’s off to face some demon dragonfly
He looks at me one long last time
Turns away again and I wave goodbye
In an envelope inside his coat
Is a chain I wore around my throat
Along with a note I wrote
It said I love you but I don’t even know why

Darling I wish you well on your way to the wishing well
Swinging off of those gates of hell
But I can tell how hard you’re trying
I just had this secret hope
But sometimes all we’d do is cope
That somewhere on the steepest slope
There’s an endless rope and nobody’s crying

The long night turns into a couple of long years
Of me walking around and round this trail of tears
With the very loud voices of my own fears
Ringing and ringing in my ears
It says that love was long gone
Every move I make is all wrong
Because you never gave a damn for me
For anything, for anyone

Darling I wish you well on your way to the wishing well
Swinging off of those gates of hell
But I can tell how hard you’re trying
I just had this secret hope
But sometimes all we’d do is cope
That somewhere on the steepest slope
There’s an endless rope and nobody’s crying

May you dream you are dreaming on a warm soft bed
May the voices inside you that fill you with dread
Make the sounds of thousands of angels instead
Tonight where you might be laying your head

I wish you well on your way to the wishing well
Swinging off of those gates of hell
But I can tell how hard you’re trying
I still have this secret hope
But sometimes all we’d do is cope
That somewhere on the steepest slope
There’s an endless rope and nobody’s crying

Apparent

Apparently I met him once, when I was five. We were stationed in Guam. I do not remember this.

Apparently his children with his wife, my half siblings, are all brilliant and successful. I have three.

Apparently he and my mom came up with a story so my dad wouldn’t have to ask his permission to adopt me.

Apparently, he still adores my mom.

That’s what he told me.

I picked up the phone and dialed. He answered. Mr. Garcia? Yes. Hi, this is May Anderton. Oh, hi.

We talked for about ten minutes.

He is a soft-spoken man.

He speaks pretty good English.

He is 60 years old.  I was born when he was 28. My dad had just turned 32.

So much more information, but it’s not right to publish it here, at least not now.

We said a lot in those ten minutes. We’re very efficient.

My life hasn’t really gotten any more complicated. He’s a figure from my past, and knowing that I didn’t know him doesn’t change who I am today. Jenny reminded me I turned out pretty awesome. So, there’s that.

I write here because I feel safe here.

Apparently, he wants to come meet me. He says it’ll be in about a month. Whatever public place, whatever terms I lay down. Maybe I could have a few of you around at a safe distance, in trenchcoats, hats and sunglasses. Walkie-talkies.

I don’t think he’s very tall. You could totally take him.

Anyone up to it?

My head doesn’t quite know how to process this.