Because Ray Said The Internet Said

Warning, these are photos OF MY LEG SKIN. View at your own risk. Also, they don’t go above the knee, so you weirdos out there can move along. Oh, boy, I’m kind of nervous. Here goes.

From just below the left knee. See? Not very thick.
From just below the left knee. See? Not very thick.

 

It's like skiing through a short forest along a rolling hill. Left leg, different part of my shin.
It's like skiing through a short forest along a rolling hill. Left leg, different part of my shin.

 

A couple of overachievers further down on my shin. Let's pretend this is a swarm of grasshoppers whose antennae are only showing.
A couple of overachievers further down on my shin. Let's pretend this is a swarm of grasshoppers whose antennae are only showing.

 

Some faint patchiness. Maybe like the tundra.
Some faint patchiness. Maybe like the tundra.

 

A few shy sprouts, like a lawn that has been newly seeded.
A few shy sprouts, like a lawn that has been newly seeded.

 

The soil is more fertile on the front of my right knee.
The soil is more fertile on the front of my right knee.

 

Ooh. Crosshairs. Did you know snipers use my legs for aiming their rifles?
Ooh. Crosshairs. Did you know snipers use my legs for aiming their rifles?

 

See the one lonely hair? It's like a desert oasis. You can find shade there.
See the one lonely hair? It's like a desert oasis. You can find shade there.

 

Oh, whose newborn baby head is that? Seriously, not since October. The top of my right knee is rebelling. Practically bald, people.
Oh, whose newborn baby head is that? Seriously, not since October. The top of my right knee is rebelling. Practically bald, people.

It was kind of fun captioning the photos, but I’m kind of grossed out from looking at them too long. Do they make you wince, Internet? I’d better blog a lot this next week so this post gets off the front page. No one sees my legs in the winter in public, not even me. And now, you, Internet, can understand why.

3 thoughts on “Because Ray Said The Internet Said

  1. You so win the internets.

    These just make your prettier pictures, more so.

    Well, except the mirrors in your old place would have added even deeper dimensions to the life that abounds.

  2. I have plenty of razors. It’s winter, people. Why do I need to shave my legs? The wind chill is going to dip into the SUBZERO TEENS in a few days, and I should worry about shaving my legs? I’ll shave them in the spring. I do this every year.

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