“Excuse me, ma’am? Your baby is very disturbing.”

The baby was actually quite cute and would have been so, so endearing in another setting. Sure, to disturb is to unsettle or to upset. But this baby wasn’t playing with fire in the aisle or trying to start a baby gang war or reciting Hillary Clinton’s concession speech. This baby was squirmy and squealy and if her noises were in tempo with and key of the music, it would have been fine. Maybe the annoyed lady meant to tell the mother her baby was disruptive. Or distracting.

Here is the dichotomy with “Mormon Night” at Carnegie Hall. Families with babies attending cultural events. Someone was bound not to be able to find a babysitter, so that someone sat with her child in her lap, and this child could not keep quiet during the entire playing of Aaron Copland’s Appalachian Spring. Mother picked up her child and left after annoyed lady confronted her about being “disturbing.”

There is not a single bad seat in that Carnegie Hall. (Except if you’re near a loud and wiggly baby.) That means you can hear every single note, no matter where you sit. Props to the acoustics people. Bravi. Woo! But that also means you can hear every single bad note. You can hear when a section is slightly off beat, you can hear the slightest anything. BYU’s chamber orchestra did a fabulous job, and I enjoyed the experience, so I was able to ignore most of the blips and whatever else erroneous bounced off those perfectly contoured walls into my ears. My ears and mind have been so deprived of classical music, they couldn’t help but soak up everything. When they performed Appalachian Spring, it occurred to me that I own a recording of that piece, and THAT is what should have been playing while we drove through Shenandoah National Park. I mean Kenny G is okay, but I must say a very distant second in terms of appropriate driving music. Sorry. 

Yesterday, in the middle of the day, my neck started hurting. I mean, really hurting. I can hardly turn my head without feeling a twinge of pain. Turning it to the right is what hurts the worst. And, if I sit a certain way the pain shoots down to my sacrum. It’s a generalized pain, I think, starting at the base of my neck and going between the shoulder blades. It kind of seems like whiplash, and I feel a little better this morning than I did yesterday, so we’ll see how I feel tomorrow before making a doctor’s appointment. Whiplash is serious enough, I mean, there’s definite muscle spasming going on, but what if it’s something else? What if something I don’t know about or scary is going on? What if my spine is dissolving and I’m turning into a Filipino writing snake? How will I be able to take pictures? Will I have to buy new clothes? Also, I don’t know if I can unhinge my jaw like that. Now that is disturbing.

2 thoughts on ““Excuse me, ma’am? Your baby is very disturbing.”

  1. Okay, I just have to say, as a mother of 2 kids, that babies/young children in performances really bug me. Maybe more so now that I am a mother and go OUT OF MY WAY to make darn sure I don’t have my kids with me so I can enjoy it. And if I can’t find a babysitter? Well, I don’t go. It’s one of the ways your life changes after you have kids. You don’t get to do everything you used to be able to do. And it sure is sad that you don’t get to do what you want when you want. Believe me, I know! I spend pretty much every weekend evening at home now. I don’t know why people think their kid is the exception, and will behave. Just don’t take the chance, people. Stay home. Download the music you would have heard from iTunes, put your kids to bed, and let the concert-goers enjoy the show sans baby disturbances. Good thing the tickets were free.
    (Apologies if I have offended anyone, but really, folks, life is NOT the same after kids, no matter how much you like to think otherwise).
    ~kendra c

  2. Yeah…that sort of thing is NOT one of those times you can bring a kid with you if you can’t find a babysitter. This is why my husband and I don’t go out much. No babysitter. The only people we know that we’d trust with him are too busy with their own kids to watch him!

    I have constant shoulder issues – I spasm in sympathy for you.

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