Scenes

At Easter dinner:

It’s time for dessert. Two types: key lime pie and a fuzzy navel cake. The latter wasn’t made with peach schnapps, but with a peachy type non-alcoholic beverage. The hosts are cutting slices and asking the table which kind of goodie we’d prefer or if we’d want some of both. 

Them: So, May. What will it be? Which one do you want? Or do you want both?
Me: I’ll be having. Both.

And for some reason, the entire table erupts with laughter. I don’t know if what I said was inherently funny, but maybe it was the way I said it? Sometimes I do inflect my voice for a certain effect; I know I’m generally not monotone. I guess maybe I was laughing rather easily. I was listening intently and taking in all the stories and wisecracks and since I was sitting at a smart table, all of them had very witty things to say. I couldn’t help but laugh.  Up until that point, I hadn’t said very much so when I uttered those five syllables, the table was eager to reciprocate.

The people who brought the fuzzy navel cake announces they brought a fuzzy navel cake. The host asks if peach schnapps was in it. The fuzzy navel cake providers express their amazement at his knowing such forbidden information. Then a quizzing of sorts takes place where the fuzzy navel cake providers ask the host what’s in a screwdriver, bloody mary, etc. I nod with the correct guesses.

Fuzzy navel cake providers: I see some nodding over there.
Me: (looking around, trying not to feel judged) Well, you go to company parties, and you learn stuff. 

And I neglect to say, “you learn stuff, by sipping and getting slightly buzzed.” If they ever come across this online journal, they’ll know what I mean by “you learn stuff.”

On the subway:

I board the train, and two guys board and grab onto a pole as the train takes off. One guy is of slight build, the other is tall and broad and he could possibly be a linebacker for an elephant rugby team. I surmise the guys are friends; they seem pretty chummy. I observe the smaller one is pretty cute. The big one doesn’t like holding onto the pole with his bare hands, so he takes his friend’s free hand and removes a glove. Still, nothing is setting off any radar. And then? The smaller one nuzzles the big guy’s arm. He affectionately rubs his face against the bicep of his compadre.

Hint taken.