The salt and pepper shakers belong to Becky. The peppercorn generators belong to me. Look how similar all four pairs of eyes are. The duo on the left can stay as still as the little troublemakers on the right. The ones on the left, however don’t freak out every time I feed them. The ones on the right do a little happy dance and have their noses in the feeder before I’ve poured all the food in. The ones on the left don’t take turns grooming each other. The ones on the left do not continually hump each other. The ones on the right are always at it. Pig is black, and Chicken is grey. Pig is the boy, and Chicken is the female. Chicken is really aggressive when it comes to this particular instinct. Pig is substantially bigger than her, but he always acquiesces. Then, he grooms her, but she never grooms him back. Yeah, the turns they take with affection are definitely uneven. Pig is a pleaser and that works out well, because Chicken is kind of a diva. I mean, she’s sweet, she’s really sweet; she’ll let you hold her and pet her and she’ll let you think she’s the gentlest thing ever. That’s what she wants you to think. That’s what’s so diva about her. Your petting her for hours at a time is the equivalent of lying on a thick feather bed surrounded by servants fanning you and feeding you peeled grapes. Your petting her? That makes you the servant. You don’t realize this because her cuteness distracts you, or you do realize it, but you don’t care, because she’s just so adorable. Pig, on the other hand, will not still still in your lap for more than 10 seconds. He likes to sniff around and try to climb on your shoulders and head. How would that be for a rabbit to roost on your head? And when you haven’t trimmed his claws in a long time? Doesn’t feel so great. What he does do, though, is groom you. If you’re wearing long sleeves and cradling him, he’ll lick your shirt for about 3 seconds, then he’ll squirm for the next 7 seconds. Then you have to put him down before he shreds your clothes and skin. But if he does draw blood, he’ll scramble for the salt shaker and sprinkle salt on your wounds. He’ll take his frustration out on you. All because Chicken does not equally reciprocate his love.