Imagine it …

Scene: March 1, 2008. 80’s party, Washington Heights, NYC. People are rocking the costumes with the jelly bracelets and shoes; retro hair-band wigs, oversized t-shirts whose sleeves were ripped out; leg warmers with high heels; walkmen; headbands; cutoff jeans; pegged jeans.

B52’s “Love Shack” starts to play.

Some girl declares, “Oh my gosh! They played this song EVERY DAY in kindergarten!”

You hear some guy mutter under his breath, “What elementary school did she GO to?”

Scene: February 28, 2008. Seminary classroom. Class ends. The CES Coordinator’s assistant introduces himself to the other teacher.

I shake the gentleman’s hand, too. I don’t remember telling him my name.

He says, “I think I’ve seen you before with your mother.”

It occurs to me this man thinks I’M A STUDENT. In HIGH SCHOOL.

I don’t even think to let him continue thinking that. Could you imagine? Yes, I go to the Math and Science Center on the Upper East Side. Yeah, I’m a junior, and school’s gotten pretty hard. Yeah, my SAT’s are April. PE sucks, but it’s funny, because we’re all kind of geeky and clumsy so competition’s pretty even. I’ll apply to Columbia and Cornell, and we’ll see how I feel about BYU. My parents think I should go. And yeah, I wish we had a marching band or a band at all, because I would play the clarinet, because that’s what I played when I actually was in high school SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO. 

Instead, I tell him I’m the other seminary teacher. I let him backpedal and he says he mistook me for someone else. Then we move on to another subject.

Nice of him thinking I was so young, though.

Scene: March 2, 2008. 2:05AM. I’m lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Wishing the weekend were longer. Wanting spring to come already. Playing an 80’s mix tape in my head. Even “Love Shack.” But it’s not from kindergarten. Thanks Def Leppard and Guns & Roses and Journey. Don’t stop believing. Fade out…