Tuesday night my roommate and I exchanged gifts:
Yes, I got her a cocktail shaker. Whenever she’s thrown parties, she’d make “mocktails” for the guests. I thought I’d bring it to the next level for her. For those of us non-drinkers, it’s pretty funny. The appearance of evil is a fine line, but here, it’s also a fun line. She enjoys the challenge of finding substitutes for liquor. The cocktail shaker is a “dial a drink,” meaning the sides of the container will tell you what proportions of ingredients to use depending on what you want. It’s pretty nifty.
Okay, Becky’s a genius. The box in my right hand is a chemistry kit for BUBBLE BATHS. It has packets of fragrances and little pipettes, and it seems like so much fun! Taking a bath is a science project! I can customize my own baths! The book in my left hand is John Hodgman’s The Areas of My Expertise. John Hodgman is the PC in the “I’m a Mac…. And I’m a PC” commercials. It’s one of the funniest almanac-type books I’ve ever seen. If you get a chance, and if you’re the least bit geeky, check it out.
***
Earlier that night I read out loud to my roommate part of an essay I wrote for a contest I was entering:
me: Hey, can I read something to you? It’s for an essay contest.
her: sure.
me: I’m only going to read part of it, since part of it has some sensitive material
her: you mean adult-sensitive?
me: yeah
her: okay
me: [reading text]
her: wow
[pause]
[pause]
[pause]
me: so, can you be objective?
[pause]
her: I’m going to enumerate my points
me: okay
her: one, I had no idea, and I’m sorry
me: that’s okay, it was a long time ago.
her: two, that’s probably the best thing you’ve ever written; there was one part, [citing a sentence], the way that’s worded is really beautiful
me: thanks
her: three, you should totally submit that to the Ensign
me: um, because the rest of that essay is particularly sensitive, I wouldn’t feel comfortable submitting it to an official church publication. Also, the contest I’m entering is for a women’s publication.
So, I’m not sure if Becky was entirely objective. I don’t know if it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. Even if it is, I’d feel like I was peaking too early. Ideally, though, I want everything I write to be the best thing I’ve ever written. Anyway, my roommate was very successful at making me feel good. So I gave the entire essay one last once-over, I copied and pasted it in the body of an e-mail addressed to the essay contest; I put the title of the essay in the subject line, and I put my name, address, phone number and email address in the body of the email preceding the essay. Then I clicked “send.”
And now, I wait three months.
I’ve finished packing. Okay then.
