Strung ham

One more thing about bowling: I very much prefer physical activity that uses muscles symmetrically. Bowling does not do this for me. Running does; cycling does; juggling does; jumping rope. But, bowling? Come on. I suppose when I come in for that final slide toward the foul line, my left hamstring contracts to counterbalance the heavy ball in my right hand when I release it. I use that muscle to nudge the ball’s momentum a little bit for a more (hopefully) effective result at the end of the lane. Then, I’m all crouched. Not in a full squat, but just enough to stretch my bum. Everything that’s connected to my left hamstring works hard, too. My left bum is sore. My left hamstring is tight. I’m walking in a pathetic little limp, and I plan on ignoring anybody who asks, “Are you okay, little girl?” Watch it buddy. I’ll clobber ya.

Not that I’ve seen many professional bowlers, but if bowling was something I did consistently, my left lower body would look bigger than the right. My left hamstring would be bulging, and the left side of my bum would pop out more. And I’d have to answer people before they asked: No, folks. It’s not an illusion. Wasn’t there a character from … something who only worked out the right side of his body? Does anyone remember this and how ridiculous he looked? I cannot imagine having pants made to accommodate a bigger left side.

Oh well.

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