Where Is My Head?

I have one hour before I go home.

Something’s wrong with the ozone layer. Hole might be bigger today.

Earth is innocently orbiting the sun, revolving on its axis.

Bernoulli’s principle explains why glass breaks outward from a building when a tornado is near it.

This rule also helps us understand why people get sucked OUT of an airplane if the door breaks open or a hijacker shoots a hole in the side of the cabin.

Remember folding a piece of paper in half and taping the open end and hanging the paper loop from a pencil and blowing across the TOP of the pencil and the paper loop popping up? Yep. Mr. Bernoulli.

What about shooting a stream of air upward from a one-inch hose and throwing a foam ball in its path having it float above the mouth of the hose? You guessed it.

It’s all about pressure and its relation to air velocity.
I won’t go into the actual formulas and perfectly illustrate why I didn’t get As in college physics.

If air moves faster on one side of a barrier, it basically means the pressure on the other side of the barrier is stronger.

So the pressure inside of a house busts windows outward.

Plane cabins actually PUSH helpless people from the plane miles above the ground.

Pressure below the paper loop pushes it up where the pressure is less.

Pressure surrounding the steady column of air keeps the foam ball in place.

I’m just saying. Hypothetically. If the hole in the ozone layer has grown, and air is escaping into space, would that then increase the overall atmospheric velocity; and if the air is moving more quickly but seemingly undetectably, would that then decrease overall atmospheric pressure; so if the pressure outside of my head is significantly less than the force inside my head pushing against my skull, WOULD THAT EXPLAIN WHY MY HEAD IS ABOUT TO BURST?

I think I just insulted myself.

I don’t remember having a headache this bad. When the headache is gone, I probably won’t remember having the headache. Or much of anything else.

3 thoughts on “Where Is My Head?

  1. But at least you got the physics bit right, even if you won’t remember how you did it later. In other news, have a great weekend! Enjoy the early fall and playing in the leaves (assuming they’ve started falling already).

  2. May. How can you write something like this, go back and read it, and still question your writing ability? I just want to show this to everyone I know and say, “See, look how smart and clever my friend May is.” Ha. You really should do some sort of free lance writing…magazines, something. You are da bomb diggity (or as Brian Higgins would have said a few years ago, da bomb diggity shoo wap shoo bang). 😉

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