So, I still receive email updates from a ward I attended in New York City. Right now, they’re preparing for impact from Hurricane Irene. I’m tons of worried about my friends there. Hey, kids. You’re in my prayers.

Thursday, August 25, 2011 11:17 PM

All,

As you all prepare for the hurricane, there are a number of things you should do immediately (if you haven’t already done so):

1. Please see the hurricane map HERE to determine if you live within an evacuation zone. It is likely that it will be a category 1 hurricane, which means that zone A might be evacuated. Please stay tuned to what public officials say in terms of evacuations. The evacuations could be voluntary or mandatory (by law).

2. Please make sure your 72 hour kit is ready to go.

3. We need volunteers. If you do not live in an evacuation zone, we need volunteers who would be willing to temporarily house ward members who might be asked or required to evacuate. Please e-mail [this person] if you would be willing to house displaced members of our ward.

4. Please e-mail [the same person] if you live within evacuation zone A and let us know what your plans are (and if you need a place to stay). We would like to have a complete database to keep track of everyone in evacuation zone A.

5. Please be aware that public transportation might be shut down this weekend. Please pay attention to announcements from city officials for more info.

6. If you have not already done so, please contact those whom you home teach and visit teach to make sure they are prepared and have a plan.

HURRICANE EVACUATION MAP
and HURRICANE BROCHURE

Friday, August 26, 2011 12:58 PM

Please read carefully:

1. Mandatory evacuations have been announced for Zone A. If you live in Zone A, please contact [the same person] as soon as possible to let us know what your plan is. If you need a place to go, let us know and we will find a place for you.

2. If you would be willing to house members who have been evacuated, please email Kimber.Crandall@gmail.com to let us know (if you haven’t already done so).

3. All public transportation will be shut down beginning noon tomorrow. Please plan accordingly.

4. Church is cancelled on Sunday.

5. Please circulate this infomation with those you home teach or visit teach.

Homework calls, and I continue to ignore it.

I wish I could describe the downpour with as much majesty and wonder the way your mom or Shakespeare or Melville or Crane recreates nature’s power from mere words. WORDS!

But I can’t, so instead I will show you photos of my soaked self. Neighbors who live across from me and I splashed in the parking lot, which in some places was 3 inches deep. We kicked and jumped and giggled as the cool drops from the sky plinked our heads.

That is all.

What you don't see is my drenched pants dripping onto the recently cleaned carpet. Storms like these never last long, and there was even lightning and thunder, but I was the shortest among the group of us playing, so I wasn't worried.

So, I mussed my hair a bit for the photo, but how am I supposed to convince you otherwise that I went puddle jumping? And why is my room so bright? And, yes. I made the pictures small and unclickable because THEY'RE NOT FLATTERING. But I wanted everyone to know that I loved playing in the rain. And I wish YOU and YOU and YOU could have joined me. Yes, YOU. Right?

I guess it’s time to do homework now, unless any of you would like to keep distracting me. You’d be doing a good deed. I WOULD NOT TURN YOU AWAY.

I apologize for the bad video quality. Just pretend that is snow, too.

So, I missed my bus this morning, and I decided to walk toward campus to one of the bus stops that would take me to work. It’s about a 25 minute walk, and the weather was nice enough, though the sky was a little bit overcast.

The first 22 minutes were uneventful. I was hitting all the walk signals at the intersections, and I was making good time. I knew I wouldn’t miss this next bus.

Then, the last three minutes. I was heading east, and a gust of wind came from behind me and with it, a light flurry of snow flakes. Then, following that, more gusts and a steady, swirling, barrage of white, wet flakes. I raised my hands to the air and asked, “What is this?!?”

Yet, because I’m an old person and check the weather every day before I leave the apartment, I was expecting snow, so I wore my winter coat, and I was able to reach back and bring the hood over my head. I walked the rest of the way to the bus stop. I could have been way less grumpy.

I also had an umbrella in my backpack (old-person, boy-scout syndrome), but someone else had come to the bus stop, not prepared at all for the weather. I didn’t share the umbrella with her (cancels out boy-scout aspect, but retains parts of old person). I’m a horrible person when it snows at the end of April.

Oh, the first of my grades are in! My first Bs of my second-chance college career. Can you guess what subject?

Rewriting the whole thing with the corrections will help me understand the grammar better. Posting it on a public blog will help me face my constant feelings of idiocy. I need the practice. The account below is a true story in my head; I may have taken artistic liberty with some of the details. I will say the professor likes my writing style, and that may have kept my grade from plonger.

Before you skip the rest of this entry, let me report: Day 1, no cookies; I only picked a little bit on my left thumbnail, and I already totally oopsed on the profanity. No one heard. Well, except You Know. I’m working on that.

Un Noël Blanc

J’avais treize ans. Quelques jours avant Noël, je suis allée à la fête d’anniversaire de mon amie, car son anniversaire était la veille de Noël. Il faisait plus froid que d’habitude ce soir-là, mais j’avais assez chaud chez mon amie. La fête était amusante, et je ne voulais pas aller dehors. Quand je rentrais, mes parents et moi avons parlé en voiture du temps froid; les arbres étaient nus mais du givre couvrait les branches. C’était une beauté bizarre. Nous avons arrêté de parler. Les phares coupaient le noir mais le silence a persisté jusqu’à ce que nous soyons arrivés ches nous. Ensuite, nous sommes allés au lit.

C’étaient les vacances de Noël, pourtant mon petit frère et moi nous réveillions tôt tous les jours. Le matin, nous regardions des dessins animés, et puis nous mangions le petit déjeuner. Quelquefois, nous faisions nos devoirs. Parce qu’il faisait trop froid cet hiver pour jouer dehors, nous sommes restés dans la maison. Parfois, nous jouions à des jeux d’enfants. Plusieurs cadeaux étaient sous le sapin, et nous essayions de deviner ce que c’était. Ensuite, ma mère nous disait de nous habiller et de faire nos tâches ménagères. Sans nous plaindre, nous obéissions.

Après  deux jours de plus, c’était la veille de Noël. Cette année-là nous avons mangé un grand repas la veille de Noël. Mon père a fait deux tartes: une aux citrouilles et l’autre aux pommes. De plus, il a rôti une dinde et a fait de la purée de pommes de terre et du maïs. Tout était divin. Notre famille avait une tradition d’ouvrir un cadeau et de lire l’histoire Noël de la Bible. Quelquefois nous chantions des cantiques, mais nous n’étions pas très bons chanteurs. Cette année-là, nous avons aussi conduit dans des beaux voisinages pour regarder les lumières et les décorations. En les regardant, des flocons blancs ont commencé à tomber du ciel. Ils ont gentiment flotté à terre, où ils ont disparu. Alors, mon père a conduit lentement pour notre sécurité, mais surtout pour que nous regardions la neige.

Chez nous, mon frère et moi n’avons pas dormi pendant plusieurs heures. Au lieu, nous avons fixé les toutes petites étoiles qui descendaient. Le clair de lune faisait luire les nuages. Nous avons regardé comme si c’était le meilleur film que nous n’ayons jamais vu. Finalement, nous sommes endormis.

Le jour suivant était Noël! Nous nous somme réveillés et avons ouvert les cadeaux qui restaient. Je suis certaine qu’ils étaient génials, mais il y a des choses plus importantes, comme le temps. C’était la Floride! Le temps était plus significatif que le bavardage habituel. Une couche blanche couvrait la terre et des petites stalactites de glace étaient suspendues aux arbres. Notre jardin avait l’air pur. Il neigeait toujours; les flocons étaient plus grands. Mon frère et moi avons mis un tas de vêtements et nous sommes allés dehors. Sans gants, nous avons fait un petit bonhomme de neige. Nous avons joué jusqu’à ce que nous ayons froid, environ trente minutes.

J’appelle Jacksonville « la région froide de la Floride » parce qu’elle est au nord, mais il n’y neige pas tous les jours, alors nous sommes allés dehors après nous être réchauffés, après nous avoir bu du chocolat chaud. Les garçons qui habitaient à coté sont aussi venus dehors (mais ils n’étaient pas mes premiers amours, au fait), et ils se sont battus contre nous (mon frère et moi) avec des boules de neige. Nous avons joué comme ça toute la journée. Nos cils ont blanchi et nos bouches faisait des petits nuages quand nous parlions. C’était mon premier Noël blanc. C’était un jour magique.

Last night, I went to mapmyrun.com – which I haven’t used in three years – and logged in and mapped a two-mile route. Then I ran that route this morning. I still feel pretty incredible, and it’s been almost twelve hours. I went really slow, about a 10-minute pace, as I hadn’t run outside in cold weather in a very long time. I remember training for the Austin half-marathon a while back, and that was during the winter, but I had a rule of not running when it’s below 30 degrees. Well, this morning, it was about 20 degrees, but it wasn’t too bad, given the dryness of Utah. Plus, after five minutes, I was nice and toasty, but I still had a little trouble breathing. Not because of elevation, but because I’m out of shape. I didn’t stop, though; that sort of surprised me.

This is one of my routes in New York City. I’m not going to post today’s route because I don’t feel like giving any weirdos out there my location.

As long as I’m bundled up better than Ralphie, I don’t mind the snow all that much. In fact, it’s great here in Utah. The video is of Colorado, though. Still, this part of the country with the snow and the mountains and the wide, open space warms my Grinchy little heart. It grows at least three sizes. It sort of feels like indigestion.

Thanks for passing this on, Dooce.

Enjoy.

from felt soul media on Vimeo.

Winter. Beautiful.

7875517

At 1:33pm:

The National Weather Service is warning of a winter storm today that “will far surpass anything that we’ve seen, probably for the last several years.” The combination of snow, extreme cold, and possibly damaging winds will make travel extremely hazardous. The storm will begin in the north and move south, hitting Salt Lake City later this afternoon.

Please watch the weather reports and be prudent in your travels.

At 2:06pm:

This is a Y-Alert. As you were informed earlier, a major blizzard warning has been issued by the National Weather Service. Because of the severity of this expected storm, BYU will close campus at 3 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 23, 2010. All classes should be canceled after this time.

Campus will be closed on Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2010, except for essential services as determined by unit supervisors. If you have questions about specific locations or events, we encourage you to contact the respective organization.

At this time, the men’s and women’s basketball games are still scheduled.

I’ll spare you any sarcasm about the basketball games. Please be careful out there. I’ll be so very pissed if you die. You know this.

It used to be that we’d chat for a few minutes before class began, and that would earn me the privilege of staring at the back of his head for 50 minutes. Then after a week or two, our talking progressed to after class and walking to our next classes. It was cool. I was actually making a friend from a class, and sure, he’s a guy and I’m a girl, but we talked to each other about dates he’d been on or guys I despised, and he even said the perfectly right thing when I told him someone stood me up. Relative to each other, we seemed to be on pretty neutral ground.

Then for a couple weeks, it got a little weird. I’m a girl, and he’s a guy, after all. Maybe I clammed up, because I do that sometimes. And he started arriving to class just before the bell, then he’d run off before I had a chance to catch him. We’d normally talk about our weekends or interests or the kinds of friends we keep, usually after class. There’d be a little snarkiness but always some laughing. Then we’d split off to go to our respective classes, and I’d be feeling extremely dandy, thinking I was making a real connection with a human being I don’t live with or see at church.

Of course I stalked him. I found his phone number from the online student directory. Way too easy. I texted him once – just to make sure it was really his number – at least a month ago, and that probably was a little creepy, but he took it well. Also, if I really wanted to freak him out, I would have battered him with texts. Seeing him in class was enough for me. And, he’s only a friend.

He’s talked to me since the texting, but that doesn’t explain the avoidance, so maybe I was emitting some repulsive vibe, which, considering my disposition the last couple of weeks, is completely plausible. Seriously cranky. Seriously whiny. I definitely didn’t want to be near me, and I didn’t blame others if they felt the same way.

Outside of church, I spent most of Sunday writing a paper which happened to be for the class this guy is in. And it wasn’t like I was thinking only of him, because I was pretty focused on the paper, but it was probably the association that made me grab my phone and text him. I was tired of feeling like my relationships were crumbling, and this was a last ditch effort to salvage what I could. The worst that could happen would be awkwardness for the rest of the semester, which, if you’re me, is mostly how normalcy feels. The text said something like, “Hey, this is May from class. I’m a little sad we don’t talk as much anymore. I feel like I’ve been a poor friend. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, and I hope you’re having a good Sunday.”

No reply. And that was fine, because I was too busy pulling my hair out about the paper. I went to bed without giving the text a second thought. Out of my hands, anyway.

The next morning, he was late, just like a third of the class who were probably printing their papers to submit. I was relieved when he showed up; I wasn’t even nervous. And he seemed rather chipper. He commented more than usual, and I took brilliant notes of the class discussion.

Then the dismissal bell rang. I gathered my things, and he slung on his backpack. I’m not sure how it started, but we left the classroom and walked down the halls talking to each other about our weekends. He let me talk more, like he always does, and he laughed at my wise cracks. [Ignore this tangential and inappropriate question: Is it fitting that wise-asses have wise cracks? Is it bad manners to tell someone her wise crack is showing?] I tried sharing my umbrella with him, because Provo apparently needed a pre-winter washing. Then before he shot off to his class, we said goodbye to each other.

That’s a start.

For the rest of you, I have a whole lot of undoing to do. Please be patient.

It’s only up on the mountains now. But I think, for the most part, winter is on the curb, waiting to get out of the car and ring the doorbell. Even if I don’t open the door, it’s going to be there.

Maybe it will drive around the block a few times before parking again.

Do you remember when I was so, so mad on Thursday? I was sitting in a computer lab on campus. I was working on homework, chatting a little, blogging a lot, trying to be funny. Do you remember this? Then in the middle of the afternoon I received an email. I stared at the screen, my eyes left-to-righting words of a message I was so, so confident I wouldn’t receive. I read them again, and the words blurred as tears welled over my pupils. I thought I had a chance. I thought I had a good chance. A damn good chance. But they showed me; they stuck it to me. My good-enoughness went back onto the balance, and it doesn’t have enough weight. It doesn’t have enough, which would have left me with goodness, but I don’t have enough of that, either. I don’t have leverage. I can’t tip the scale; instead, it catapults me into oblivion. The void engulfs my nothingness.

With tears rolling down my cheeks, I gathered my things and logged off the computer. I went to the bus stop and waited until the bus came, and I got on. Do you remember? I was so, so mad, and I was on the bus, and I was so preoccupied I missed my stop, but I snapped out of it in time to get off at the next stop and walk up to my apartment. I went into my room and closed the door and turned on my laptop. With a clenched jaw and a fresh supply of tears, I sent a courtesy email. I climbed into my bed and pulled the covers over my head and slept until I woke up with a compounded headache. I went to dinner with friends feeling bad for being so distracted, but lightning storms and free ice cream helped me feel better. Interestingly, so did talking about the apocalpyse and Prop 8.

That last bit is what I’d like most to remember. You know, lightning and ice cream and conversation. I’m really grateful for my friends.

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