April 29, 2011

Some More Things About Safety

Posted by mayiwrite under advice, friends, government, health, miscellany, mormonism, my life, nature, observations, travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , |
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dr. friend:  so i don’t think i’m particularly cool with this whole not being able to chat with you

me:  yeah, no kidding
i’m a jerk
 dr. friend:  you should really work on that
 me:  hell no
it’s your problem
 dr. friend:  lol
 me:  ;)
 dr. friend:  i mean, no texting or anything
 me:  i know, right?
 dr. friend:  sheesh
[top secret stuff]
 dr. friend:  ahhhh
so when do you return?
 me:  [shh]
 dr. friend:  okay.
 me:  don’t worry, it’s before your birthday
 dr. friend:  brb…i gotta tell the dept of homeland sec “something”
;-)lol
 me:  haha
i’m going to bring a longform birth certificate from senegal
it was never kenya
 dr. friend:  hahaha
  me:  i bought some dramamine and pepto
 dr. friend:  imodium?
 me:  no
 dr. friend:  buy some
 me:  yeah?
 dr. friend:  if you get the traveler’s diarrhea, imodium plus the azithromycin
 me:  i like doctor friends
 dr. friend:  seriously.
lol
and you know not to brush your teeth with the water too, right?
 me:  yeah. keeping the mineral water by the sink
using that for washing hands before contact lens insertion, too
 dr. friend:  good
and i don’t know that i’d do much wading in streams barefoot
 me:  you can look at all my parasites when i come back
 dr. friend:  hahahahah
[a friend] showed me a pic of a dude’s parasites once.  dude had brought them to the office
 me:  what
 dr. friend:  yeah
people bring weird crap in
like their bedbugs in a jar
 me:  why?
 dr. friend:  so i can see them
mucus too.  it’s an awesome job
 me:  you love it!
 dr. friend:  lol
most of the time
 dr. friend:  hey, good news
the worm i was concerned about, the guinea worm has been eradicated from senegal
 me:  did they put it back in guinea?
 dr. friend:  lol
 me:  i’m glad i don’t have to worry about that
 dr. friend:  yeah
me too
it’s pretty gross
 me:  would you be okay signing for a crate with a monkey in it?
it would be for your birthday
 dr. friend:  oh sure
 me:  what color?
 dr. friend:  it would need to be trained as a butler first
we’ve always wanted a monkey butler, you know
any color, as long as it’s trained.  i’m no racist.
 me:  do you like cufflinks for the monkey tux?
 dr. friend:  it would be nice, not necessary though
i’d be happy to dress the monkey
 me:  okay, that works
 dr. friend:  so do you have to wear a head scarf or anything?
 me:  no, but i do think we have to dress special for when we visit a mosque
 dr. friend:  probably long skirt/covered arms/head
 me:  yes
i should pack those :)
 dr. friend:  lol
 me:  do you like mangoes?
 dr. friend:  omg yeah
you should send me a bunch
 me:  i’m afraid the monkey will be easier
 dr. friend:  lol
you could um, smuggle them in your clothing?  ;-)
 me:  i could risk growing a cup size or four
 dr. friend:  hee
 me:  [la la la]
 dr. friend:  [confirm la la la]
[husband] says you’re going to get lots of marriage proposals
 me:  SWEET
 dr. friend:  in senegal.  they seem to enjoy foreign women
 me:  yeah, i KNOW not here
 dr. friend:  lol, not what i meant
 me:  (i know :) )
 dr. friend:  lol
of course, with the whole muslim thing, you might be looking at quite a different life for yourself
 me:  maybe i can find one who practices animalism
 dr. friend:  there ya go
 me:  or one of the 4% of the catholic population
 dr. friend:  see, now you’re thinking
 me:  haha
 dr. friend:  so you leave [cuckoo!]
 me:  true
 me:  did you turn down your invitation [to the royal wedding]?
 dr. friend:  yeah…decided on iceland instead
 me:  priorities
 dr. friend:  yup
 me:  do you play portal?
 dr. friend:  no
 me:  okay, just wondering
 dr. friend:  what is it?
oh crap, have i gotten old?
 me:  it’s a video/computer game
 dr. friend:  oh
 dr. friend:  so old
 me:  i hear ya
 dr. friend:  woops
 me:  ha. huh?
 dr. friend:  i accidentally got off this page
 me:  ah. okay
i’m so flattered that you’re going to miss me
 dr. friend:  totally
 me:  will you say hi to björk when you go to iceland?
 dr. friend:  lol of course
i’ll send you one of her outfits
 me:  i would LOVE that
i’d wear it every day until the eggs hatch
 dr. friend:  unless you’d prefer that fermented shark’s head thing
lol
 me:  haha. eww
are you going to try to buy iceland?
 dr. friend:  not right now.  we need a fence.
 me:  HAHAHA
priorities
 dr. friend:  yup
i heard a rumor that you designed kate’s dress
 me:  if it’s a cross between modest and yip-yip monster, then yes
 dr. friend:  that’s wild.  so you’re going to senegal to avoid the press, right
 me:  yes. and to find a royal husband of my own
 dr. friend:  okay, i’m lame so i’m off to bed
 me:  good night lamey
 dr. friend:  have a good night!  [dum dee dum dee dum]
me: thanks so much
 dr. friend:  get some imodium
 me:  yes’m
 dr. friend:  gnight!
 

October 22, 2009

Arachnid Florida

Posted by mayiwrite under my life, nature, photo | Tags: , , , |
[6] Comments 

Florida has bugs. Lots of them.

So, people. Be glad I’m not dead. I headed out the door this morning for a run, and my eye caught some spiderwebs glistening in the sunlight. I made a note to try to take some photos when I got back.

I risked my life taking these pictures. I had to put the camera lens up against the webs. The webs billowed when the wind blew and the silky strands stuck to the camera. I was terrified the web would wrap around me, then the spider would finish cocooning me and finish me off for dinner.

I’m not sure what kind of spider it is. As you can see, it’s pretty ugly, but it didn’t seem to mind posing for the photos. It spun some beautiful webs, too. Maybe if I sit underneath them, the spider will spin lovely adjectives about me.

Heebie-jeebies. I still have them.

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September 28, 2009

Something to Reade

Posted by mayiwrite under my life, new york city | Tags: , , |
1 Comment 

What I’ll miss: Duane Reade
They’re everywhere in the city! It’s a pharmacy! It’s a convenience store! They give you $5 for every $100 you spend! It’s where some friends and I saw the wonderful, adorable Elijah Wood!

What I won’t miss: Garbage day
Sometimes they stack the bags six or more feet high! And it takes up half the sidewalk! And I fear the piles toppling and burying me alive! What a shameful, putrescent death!

 

September 21, 2009

Public Performance

Posted by mayiwrite under music, my life, new york city | Tags: , , , |
1 Comment 

What I’ll miss: Street performers
The good ones. I’ve seen some acts that would blow away much of what I’ve seen on television. I know that’s still not saying much because a lot of television is crap these days, but the musicians and dancers I’ve seen on the street? They should be on television or in grand concert halls or other jam-packed venues. That aren’t subway platforms. And they should be getting paid a whole lot more. The other day at the Delancey-Essex stop on the F line, I only had 50 cents, and I made eye contact with the guy as I dropped the change in his guitar case. He was good. Inconsequentially cute, and quite talented.

What I won’t miss: Exhibitionists
The entire range, from public displays of affection to other stuff. Now I totally want to gag.

 

March 21, 2009

Sick Ramble

Posted by mayiwrite under health, my life, weekend | Tags: , |
1 Comment 

My body decided to stick to a seminary schedule instead of switching to a sick schedule. I woke up at 4:00 this morning, and it was just as well, because I couldn’t breathe. I used the bathroom and got a drink of water and ate another cough drop. I’ve discovered that sitting up or being upright helps my breathing quite a bit. The exudate from my respiratory tract is thick and viscous, and when I’m lying down, it probably accumulates in the passages and near the openings and blocks the breathways. When I tried blowing my nose, it wasn’t … productive. It’s probably so sticky and so  dense it clings to the walls of my nose and throat. 

Did I even mention the drool? Since I couldn’t breathe out of my nose, I slept with my mouth open, and when I woke up at 4:00 the hair by my face was wet; my left cheek was slimy. I swallowed, and maybe a full teaspoon of saliva descended my burning throat. It was out of control. My body is not mine when I’m sick.

But, I did go back to bed. My body was probably a little ticked that I tried forcing a sick schedule on it (I set my alarm for 8:45, because that seemed to be a reasonable time to get up and that would have given me 9 hours of much desired and needed rest)  because I woke up at 7:00 this morning with the gut feeling I wouldn’t be going back to sleep. My breathing felt a little halted, so I decided to take a shower, hoping the steam would loosen up the gunk. It was somewhat helpful. I’ll spare describing the loogies, except to say they were like little mucus manatees, traveling to the drain at their own pace, paying no mind to the water’s swift stream to the same drain.

And now, I’m typing in my living room. One of my roommates is sick, too, and she seems to be doing a dandy job sleeping like she’s on a sick schedule. My lower back aches; my thorax feels like one of those Dante ovens in one of the inner circles; the fronts of my shins are throbbing, not in a shin splint way, but like my pulse is trying to dig an escape route through my shins. It’s weird. And, my throat. Somebody, please extinguish my throat.

I made some cream of wheat, and it was perfect. I took some cold medicine, and I drank some more water. The need to blow my nose is constant, but whenever I try, hardly anything comes. If I ever get back to sleep, I’ll try it sitting up or at least at a decent incline. It’s nice to breathe.

Today is going to be full of reading and writing. And maybe even just staring at the television. I’m going to keep encouraging a sick schedule on my body. I’ll be in my pajamas all day. If any of you want to risk the trek to north Manhattan for a visit, that would be great, but I’ll understand if you don’t. This ramble might have grossed you out enough to keep you as far away from me as possible.

It looks beautiful outside. Enjoy it. Have a great weekend.

 

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