February 21, 2012
I promise there’s an engagement story.
December 5, 2011
It’s not you, it’s me.
I’m doing a lot of things I didn’t think I’d do. That first line, for instance. Why do people say that? But I’m not breaking up with you, blog, though I don’t know if an explanation for my neglect is what you’re looking for. It’s been an interesting semester, and I wonder if I had the same discipline in years past maintaining this blog during this semester, . . . I don’t know. Something had to give. A lot of things did.
Other people have come into my life, blog. When I make friends, that doesn’t seem to distract me from blogging, but this instance — this individual – seems to be an exception. And that’s because I spend a lot of time with this person, time I could have been spending on blogging.
Don’t get me wrong: I still love to blog, blog. But there’s more out in the world to love. But you probably mean that I can always blog about the things I love, and I can understand your point.
Consider what I’ve blogged about: Everyday, mundane, natural. My complaints, depression; idiot boys, crazy and wonderful friends and school things.
I’m beginning to understand, blog.
I should be keeping better track of this time of my life.
One semester left, and it’s going to be crazy.
I took the GRE on November 22, and my math and verbal raw scores were very close. Either I’m equally deficient or equally genius in those categories.
About 20 pages of stuff are due this week. I don’t really feel like writing for any of my classes. It is the last week of class, and as I type this, I’m finally feeling some anxiety about finishing the semester well. Strongly. Without failing.
Classes this semester were terrific and fun. I learned so much, and I wish I cared enough about grades to let the work reflect just how much I enjoyed classes. When I went. Which was most of the time. I’d rather just sit and absorb, but for some reason someone decided that writing papers as an English major would be a good evaluation of academic progress. Which: fine.
I could continue writing about my classes and friends, or I could try being one of those annoying blogs that goes on and on about a boyfriend. What a great guy he is. I could document about all the PDA we avoid, except when he walks me to my door at night, and then it’s really short, accompanied by a whispered but confident expression of deep and mutual emotion.
If I kept it up the whole semester, it would have started out as a weekly report of weekly incidents, but then it would have progressed to a weekly or daily recounting of daily events. Hours spent together, every. Single. Day. Conversation about family and books and movies and music. And life. Initial nervousness turning into pure comfortability leading to talks about a future together and togethering together.
It’s really none of the world’s business, this guy. All the world needs to know is that he’s incredible and caring and thoughtful, and he lets me be goofy, and I let him make me happy. But that’s obvious even outside of the context of our dating. It’s not like I need a rooftop tour to shout about it or announce that he’s coming to Florida to meet my family at Christmastime.
It’s serious, blog. You deserved to know.
And I am trying to tell you.
October 23, 2011
Well, it seems I’m a bit distracted.
It’s crazy how quickly time passes.
So much is happening. So much to write about.
So much not to write about. I mean it.
Maybe I’ll write a poem. I should write a poem.
So, there’s that. Poem ideas crash into my head all the time. I would much rather be working on poetry than my other schoolwork. I wish it was all I had to do.
Toward the beginning of the semester it was easier. But now, I’m starting to flounder.
Oh, I met and spoke with Pulitzer-Prize winner, Marilynne Robinson. That was ultra cool.
Let’s look at this week’s schedule.
Monday: Midterm; homework
Tuesday: Poems, My Fair Lady; homework
Wednesday: French Party; homework
Thursday: Meeting at the library; homework
Friday: There’d better be nothing, except homework
Saturday: Concert; homework
Also, 20 hours of work, 14 hours of class.
Also, I had a damn good weekend. It was fun.
But, I won’t blog about it.
This is the worst blog post ever.
October 16, 2011
The public library sale was fun. Today, hardbacks were $1.00, and paperbacks were $0.50. Pretty cool, eh?
Here’s what I got:
Charles Baudelaire, Les Fleurs du Mal
- We’ve been reading a lot of Baudelaire in one of my classes, so when I saw this, I got really excited.
Germaine Bree, Great French Short Stories
- These are in English, and they’re most of the famous ones.
Geoffrey Brereton, A Short History of French Literature
- I bought this one for pretense. Of course.
Annie Ernaux, La Place
- This looked interesting. And it’s short, which means it’s more likely that I’ll finish it.
Other Random French Short Stories
- These are in French. I like short stories. I like French. It only makes sense.
***
T.C. Boyle, When the Killing’s Done
- I hear he’s good.
Don DeLillo, Underworld
- This guy is supposed to be great, too.
Joan Didion, Play It as It Lays
- I haven’t read a lot of her fiction; I’m looking forward to this.
Louise Erdrich, Four Souls
- This is supposed to be awesome.
Louise Erdrich, Love Medicine
- I think I have a copy of this in New York City. Oh, well.
Hemingway, Short Stories
- Short stories is pretty much the only way I like Hemingway.
Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner
- I’d read this before.
Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns
- I hope this one is okay, too.
Zora Neale Hurston, Jonah’s Gourd Vine; Mules and Men; Their Eyes Were Watching God
- I remember that a friend was reading Their Eyes her junior year while I was a senior in high school. I’ve been wanting to read Hurston ever since.
Carson McCullers, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
- I read this the summer before my junior year of school for an AP English class. It’s time to read it again.
W.S. Merwin, The Lost Upland
- I like Merwin. I like France. Enough said.
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
- I put off getting this for a long time.
Chaim Potok, Davita’s Harp
- I love the Chosen, hopefully this one will be great, too.
Annie Proulx, The Shipping News
- Proulx seems pretty important, but I’ve read very little of her.
Thomas Pynchon, V
- Same thing with Pynchon.
Betty Smith, Joy in the Morning
- A Tree Grows in Brooklyn was pretty amazing. Fingers crossed for this one.
John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
- The Red Pony, The Pearl, Of Mice and Men; it’s time for a big Steinbeck book.
Mark Twain, Huckleberry Finn, pocket size
- I think I will always carry this one with me.
Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway
Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own
- I’d read excerpts of both of these for a class, and that was enough to decide that I really, really like Virginia Woolf. I hope she likes me, too.
Definitely, I got my $16 worth today. I know I’m good for the year, at least.
If you want to borrow these or any of my books, let me know. If you’ve borrowed books and haven’t returned them, I’m gently reminding you that you still have them.
And that’s okay. Take your time.
October 1, 2011
Life coasts along, life dazzles, life punches squarely in the stomach. What else should we really expect?
I know I keep saying I’ll post actual updates.
A lot is going on,
and I’ve found time to blog about it before, but
Yeah. No legitimate excuse.
—
Classes, really quick:
My religion class and I sometimes butt heads. But it’s been good for me.
History and Criticism of Rhetoric is fun. We’ve talked about Legally Blonde and My Cousin Vinny, and we’ve done homework based on Sunset Blvd and Law & Order. And this weekend we’re analyzing oratory style of any talk at General Conference, according to Saint Augustine.
Introduction to French Literary Analysis is a lot of fun. I may have to dedicate a post just to how much I love French poetry. Because, SERIOUSLY.
Early American Auto/Biography blows me away. I’m reading excellent things by fascinating people, and I wish we could read more women. But if it’s any consolation to myself, reading what I have so far — Benjamin Franklin, PT Barnum, Ralph Waldo Emerson — makes me feel pretty outstanding. I have stories about this class, too.
My poetry writing class. Oh, my heart. I’m cultivating this profound appreciation and there’s only 11 students in the class, and the instructor is adorable and instructive and encouraging. She stood briefly on a soapbox the other day about how a lot of television these days is produced at a 5th-grade level and that Americans don’t know how to think anymore. I felt so much pride then. And, then it’s crazy how we workshop each other’s poems and how I’ve just had to simply get over or ignore being scared of sharing what I know to be mostly subpar poetry with my genius classmates. I wish you could read my classmates’ poems, because WOW.
Aside from classes, there’s church and dating and work. Visiting friends and maintaining friendships because I love my friends so very much.
OH and applying to grad schools and talking to professors about all my options after graduation.
Which will be in April.
Holy crap.
But my original reason for posting right now is that I want to reblog some useful things I came across this past week. Just two things, one each from a Utah couple I’ve been following for the past five years. I’ve mentioned them before. Winter’s on its way. People get sad in conjunction with or separately from the approaching and increasing darkness. Also, although I’m decently insulated in Provo, I try to remain aware of what’s happening around me. Bad things happen all the time, regardless, and we have to deal. While we’ll be receiving counsel and encouragement from Church leaders this weekend, I think a few other resources are okay, especially for those square punches in the stomach. Please reblog if you feel the need.
From Jon Armstrong:
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
And, Heather Armstrong (click the quote for the entire post):
Enjoy Conference, y’all.
September 19, 2011
Patience is
wider than one
once envisioned,
with ribbons
of rivers
and distant
ranges and
tasks undertaken
and finished
with modest
relish by
natives in their
native dress.
Who would
have guessed
it possible
that waiting
is sustainable—
a place with
its own harvests.
Or that in
time’s fullness
the diamonds
of patience
couldn’t be
distinguished
from the genuine
in brilliance
or hardness.
– Kay Ryan
*****
One of these days I will again post my own thoughts, but Ms. Ryan says lots of great things.
If my mind is space, and time is time, the exact location of my mind cannot be determined at any point in time, not without that location occurring in the past. When I want desperately to be in the now.
This is my uncertainty principle. That’s what I’m feeling.
Rest assured, there’s lots to be said about school (SO. MUCH. SCHOOL) and boys and friends I don’t see nearly enough of. And meeting poets. And autographs. And food. And boys and church. And some boys that aren’t smart. And new friends. And the cooling weather. And swearing at school, though not by me. And running into former seminary students who are so very tall. And staying up until 4am or waking up at 3am and either way letting the silence soothe me. And seeing those people in my life that make me feel like all is right with the world.
Eventually, the past will catch up to now.
Thanks for your patience.
September 2, 2011
My first week of school was pretty much amazing, but I’ll write more about that later.
In the past few days I’ve asked people what I should do with the rest of my life, and they came up with some pretty interesting answers. If you have an opinion either way (because you know that I will hold you completely responsible for my life), feel free to comment.
x: for a while i was gunning to live by a river with an irish poet-explorer. i’m way off-track, so you could take over for me
This definitely has a lot of appeal, and really, I don’t see why this couldn’t happen.
C: hard to say
Other people are supposed to have an easy time figuring out my future, but I’ll let this one slide.
H: ummm….go to paris eat really amazing food and find a handsome french man that admires you and buys you really pretty dresses and takes you to balls and then let me come visit you and then in a few years after you’ve had you’re taste of paris, move back to the states to be closer to your family and friends and of course your husband will have an amazing job that will let you travel when ever you want, but he wont want to leave your side, so he’ll have to come with you wherever you go in the meantime, you’ll be an amazing writer who will have your own column and eventually book that everyone in the world wants and becomes a number one seller in seconds then you could donate some of your money to charity and go on excursions to help the less fortunate people of the world
too much?
Is it really ever too much? Is there ever a detail too small? I say no.
B: grad school
And then there’s the list approach, an outline with some really basic ideas. Then I get to fill in the gaps. Not bad.
J: we need to find a professional decision maker
and feel like you’re doing something worthwhile
I like this a lot.
You folks are so great. I’m so grateful for all of you.
August 29, 2011
So maybe I’m on campus two hours early. And I had planned to buy books, because my order from Amazon is taking years. I was going to buy them then return them when the shipment arrived. I have a feeling this is a very common problem with Amazon. They might be getting angry letters from college students all over the universe.
As if college students know how to write letters.
Oh, but they do.
Just ask some of them.
Do it.
DO IT!!!
I’M SO DANG EXCITED ABOUT TODAY AND I HAVE STUPID CRUSHES ON BOYS WHICH IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS WHICH IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU’LL HAVE TO ASK ME IN PERSON OR IF YOU LIVE FAR AWAY OR EVEN IF YOU’RE CLOSE BY YOU CAN CHAT ME OR CALL AND I’M LOOKING AT CLASS SYLLABUSESESESES AND ALL THE LEARNING AND IT ALL LOOKS REALLY COOL AND I CHECKED MY BLOG SPAM TODAY AND WAS COMPLETELY AMUSED AT ONE OF THE MESSAGES AND HERE IT IS SO THAT IS ALL AND EVERYONE HAVE A LOVELY AND WONDERFUL DAY AND I LOVE YOU AND I JUST LOVE YOU.
August 27, 2011
It’s been a long time since I welcomed new readers. How’s it going? Thank you for finding me, and I’m completely fine if you decide to stay or leave. But I’d prefer that you stay. And if you stay, I’m fine if you lurk or comment. I do like comments, but I won’t push you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. And if you comment, I’m fine if you make yourself at home – please do – but please don’t leave your dirty socks on the coffee table. I reserve the right to take your socks and put them on your face while you sleep. But I will probably also make popcorn and sit down to a movie with you.
We can all be friends, right?
Thanks for visiting, friends of friends, who are now also friends of the first degree. Thanks for coming back, loyal long-timers. All of you are wonderful.
I’m going to try updating this blog weekly throughout this semester. I’ve really, really enjoyed the summer, and now it’s time to get down to business. And of course I’m going to have things to say about what I’m learning and the kids in my classes and my professors and chances I’ll have to socialize and go to church. You know I’ll have opinions.
They just won’t come as often.
Anyway, just thank you for reading, perusing, getting to know me. My whole life isn’t my blog, but it’s honest and fun enough, maybe. Sometimes it’s entertaining. It’s a good place to start.
Besides, I’m so much cooler in person.
And, I’d like to get to know you.
I have a hunch you’re pretty cool, too.
August 26, 2011
Yesterday, I left voicemail messages with family members about the news I received. One would think this type of news would motivate a quick callback. But no one has responded.
Class starts Monday. I’ve looked over my schedule and visualized where my classes are.
I wonder what my family members’ schedules are.
I will be way too busy to stay frustrated. But if they don’t call soon, I don’t know, y’all.
We all communicate so differently, and we all have different feelings connected to yesterday’s news. I just want us all to be able to support each other.
It’s a beautiful evening. The clouds are heavy, eager to burst. I walked around earlier after getting a haircut, and a slight breeze began to lift the heat of the day from the ground. It was nice.
While crossing State Street to go to University Mall (after my haircut), I heard someone shout my name from one of the cars waiting for a green light. I turned around, and I saw Senegal Grace sticking her head out of a black SUV, and we chatted for about 5 seconds in the middle of traffic, with me standing on the corner, and her in the middle lane of State Street heading north. Then the light changed, and Senegal Grace said that we’ll catch up sometime. I waved. It was fun.
Now, I’m watching Battlestar Galactica (and for some reason really appreciating the special effects and attention to detail regarding muted or no sound in space) and eating ice cream and wishing at the very beginning of this weekend that it doesn’t have to end.
At least there’s floating down the Provo River tomorrow.
In your face, end of the summer.
Join the echo ...
|
Quotes of the Day
