The other day, a chat:
Friend: how’s it go?
me: good it goes
Friend: good that is
me: how are you?
Friend: school is stressing me out
me: you’ll do fine
Friend: I appreciate your vote of confidence, but I seriously doubt it
Friend: I haven’t been putting in the time
Friend: I get distracted and I don’t want to
me: so then you can’t really complain when deadlines come
i mean you do
you always do
but you know what you’re doing when you procrastinate
it’s not like science homework
i mean i should let you vent instead of giving you my opinion
so you should keep venting
Friend: no, you are right
I should quit [complaining] and just do it
me: working on a paper along the way is a lot less stressful, just fyi
you can try it next time
Friend: maybe I will
Then the next day, this blog post.
I mean, the friend doesn’t mention names, but I have a feeling her words are about me. And what I said did come out of nowhere, so I can see why it felt like an attack. I could try to come up with a reason I behaved this way. For instance, languages. I could have just told my friend I was looking at a bunch of foreign languages so that my friend could understand that I was trying to concentrate, but instead I lashed out with what she kindly called truth bombs.
She was way too kind for what I deserve. I kicked a soccer ball in her face. I remember one time in fifth grade our class was playing soccer during P.E. and a boy kicked a soccer ball in my face. It simultaneously shocked and hurt me, and I was angry and embarrassed. The game stopped and the teacher handed me the ball and told me I could throw the ball at the boy. Which I didn’t do. Because that would have been dumb. That teacher was a dork.
Just saying, I know how those hexagons and pentagons feel at close range and high impact.